It's been a year

Today is the one year anniversary since my dad passed away - I'm sad and upset at myself at the same time.  When my dad passed away mt stbx and me were already having problems - he went to the funeral and he was with me through that difficult time.  I feel guilty cause I feel like I didnt mourn my father like I should, I was so focus on my own pain and hurt, how to save my marriage.  Even know a year later, my failed marriage, my stbx and all this feelings and emotions cloud my mind and the pain of loosing my father is right next to the pain of loosing the life I had, the life I knew, I'm grieving and mourning my own loss.   Arghhhhhh - just want this feelings to just go away and feel "normal" again.