It's all coming back to me now...

Right, so I've been feeling very rough over the last few days. Painful memories of the past flooded my mind and I found my self getting so, SO negative towards the people (in laws) who in some way or the other hurt my feelings by doing/saying things, whether intentionally or not.
I went through some really tough stuff with me losing two pregnancies (within 7 mnths) and my SIL getting pregnant and having a baby in that time... And since we live under the same roof for most of that time, I can't hold my self from saying this...I've come to really really dislike all of them. Okay, dislike is a very mild word for what I feel now.
I'm totally mad at my MIL, FIL, SIL and her husband....and some times, I grow upset with my husband too for some reasons.
But here's what's strange! No sooner does my 'mood' change and I feel excited about something else (in my life) I tend to blank out on those really baaaad feelings!
What's going on with me?!?!?!?! Will it ever get better? May be when I have a baby...???
We're going to TTC the cycle after DH is back and I really don't know if I'm ready to put things behind and start afresh. What can I do to help myself?
I'm also scared and feel 'unsafe' in their company should I get pregnant again.... This place is such a tough place to be!!!! :(