It's a start

Today was a little better for me. I managed to leave the house even though I was a nervous wreck the whole time I was out. 
My daughter had a dentist appointment today, and since my husband was off work he went with me. She had been complaining about a toothache. Fortunately, there was nothing wrong. The pain was just being caused by her bigger teeth moving down. In the evening we went for ice cream and that went well even though I was on edge and couldn't totally relax. 
We also enrolled my 15 year old step-daughter in drivers ed today, which I will have to drive her to for the next two weeks. Not a big deal, right? Except that I haven't driven since September. 
I don't know where this irrational fear of driving came from. I'm not a bad driver, and nothing happened. I just worry that I'll lose control, or something. It seems ridiculous to me that I get so anxious leaving the house to do normal everyday things.
Today before I left the house I listened to an audio clip from my anxiety app on my phone to help talk me down from my anxiety attack. I had bought some Hyland's Calms pills and tried one of those before I left, but I don't know if it did much for me. My heart raced all day with my resting heart rate being over 100bpm even when I wasn't experiencing any anxiety. I wonder if it's just from the anxiety, or if it's something else. It's exhausting. Sometimes I just have days like these, but I'm tired of having days like these where the anxiety just won't subside and it just goes on for hours. 
For the 4th we have plans to spend the day at my mother-in-laws house and then go to see fireworks in the evening. I'm looking forward to it and hope that tomorrow I will be able to relax and enjoy myself. 
To anyone reading this, I hope you have a happy and safe 4th!