It's a new week

Well, it is Monday morning & I will be going to bed shortly.  I am still on my nonschedule schedule.  I never know when I am going to sleep or how long so I really have no control over my life.  I have insomnia really bad so I take Tizanidine to go to sleep & it really helps me.  I take Trazadone to help me stay asleep, otherwise, I will wake up every couple of hours.  I hate this part of this illness, it is so hard to be on the same schedule as the rest of my family. Sometimes I am the only one awake & then I sleep while they are up.  I will be glad when it cycles around again to being awake during the day.
All of us have been doing pretty good in the last few days, no major problems, just the norm. Misty has been having quite a bit of pain but like I said that is the norm.  We have been cleaning the house slowly getting ready for some friends to stop by on their way through town. We like to have it a little better then our normal clean, we have a comfort level that is okay with us but not necessarily something we are comfortable with when company shows up.  We have both given up our old standards of housecleaning when we each became ill.  
I noticed on the weather channel app that Wednesday is suppose to be sunny & warm.  Woo Hoo!! I am hoping to get out of the house on that day & enjoy the sun.  Misty, due to her Lupus, will have to douse herself with sunscreen but we will have a good day.  I hope I can be awake on that day.  This time of year I get more depressed about being sick.  It is a time that shows me how far down I have come, how much I have given up.  I still get the seed catalogs & keep them because I always hope that this year I will find the energy to put in more gardens & spend the amount of time I used to in them.  But I know it is not going to happen.  What a terrible illness we are dealing with.
Well better get to bed, I am going to try to sleep less hours so I can get up to see everyone. Hope you all are doing well.  Hugs, Denise

Replies

1Patriciann
1Patriciann

\"We like to have it a little better then our normal clean, we have a comfort level that is okay with us but not necessarily something we are comfortable with when company shows up. We have both given up our old standards of housecleaning when we each became ill.\"

This I can relate to very well:-)

I have been having sleep issues for several months also, but I\'m beginning it think it may be just a part of my illness.
((hugs)) shared:-)
loveandlighttoyou
loveandlighttoyou

Ah, yes...the non schedule schedule. Can relate! It must be hard when you live with others. Wanting to be with them but not able to because your sleep pattern is different. It\'s just me and my furbabies most of the time. I used to stress more over my lack of schedule but now I\'m just grateful when I GET sleep! ;)
It\'s in the ,60\'s here today. I\'m with you on this time of year. It\'s bitter sweet. Love the season but it can be a reminder of what I\'ve lost. I used to love being outside but I\'ve developed a severe sensitivity to the sun. So, I try to be grateful for the ways I can still enjoy it. Mostly through my window. I\'m sorry you experience a reminder of your loss at spring time. Many casualties in this illness. So hard!
Sending peace filled hugs to you!!
DarlaC
DarlaC

Interesting that you mention the, um, sleep *?* thingy! It\'s 4 a.m. I, like you many times am awake, my husband is asleep. I\'m so often awake and alone at night. I\'m not frightened. I\'m not alone here! I\'m just kinda numb! Ya know? I am exhausted beyond belief, but can\'t find rest. I will take a half an Ambien if I go more than two or three days with little to no rest. The lack of sleep makes us all crazy. All of us with this illness. Heck, it makes normal people crazy to be sleep deprived.

So here I am, at the crack of four, on DS! LOL...this is when I spend the most time on this site. Early a.m. in the quiet of my room, with my decaf tea.....taking 1/2 a tranquilizer and hoping it will kick in and knock me out!!

We\'re having some sort of blizzard tonight in Jersey. The wind is kicking up and it\'s raining very hard. I think it\'s going to turn to snow! We shall see. Glad you\'ve had some good days! Hope it keeps up for you. I\'m ready for Spring!

It\'s so hard to worry about cleaning and having guests isn\'t it!! I hope you are able to do what needs to be done and then get some rest and just enjoy your company. Nobody goes around our homes with inspection glasses when they drop by. It\'s us crazy ladies worrying for nothing!! We need to chill out so we can look forward to company. I\'m just like you, so I should just shut up!! I think I\'d clean before a cleaning lady got here.

Hope you get some rest and good weather, Denise!!!! xoxo : )
aussiedi
aussiedi

Hey Denise, you are such a lovely lady, truly you are.Just needed to tell you that.The sleep issues are always one of my worst battles as I always suffer side effects from sleeping tabs.Sometimes natural remedies work for me, but not all the time, so I am forced to knock myself out and then suffer for it the next day.Lately I have been sleeping from 10pm until 2am and then I stay awake for the remainder of the night.So only 4hrs which wipes me out.So have resorted to sleep tabs again, but they increase my weakness and cause brain fog . It\'s all such a vicious circle, and so upsetting.I can never sleep during the day, not ever.I know how you feel about having a cleaner house when guests are coming .It\'s a struggle , the whole cleaning trip.I have been forced to accept the changes of living in a not so perfectly clean house, and I don\'t like it. I rarely have guests, so that makes it easier.Having my son here temporarily, has been a gift, as he just loves cleaning.He is incredibly tidy.My daughter, on the other hand is just the opposite, so messy, and glad she lives a couple of streets away.Anyway Denise I think you are amazing, considering that your whole family is battling with ill health.You all help each other through, one good team, I find it very inspiring.So hope you manage to enjoy that sunshine and your energy picks up again.Love and best wishes to you xoxo
lulu555
lulu555

Denise, I truly understand the sleep issues and the impact it has on the times we are awake. I take Ambien CR and have taken it for many years; however, I do want to go off it and find something \"natural.\" Ambien makes me feel so drowsy for part of the next day, something that even caffeine doesn\'t get rid of. Plus, I have sleep apnea and sleep with a CPAP machine.

My doctor wanted me to do some testing to try to determine why my sleep issues are so severe. I\'m going to ask her to give me the test now....I hesitated when she first asked because I was concerned about the cost. I believe that was an irrational fear, so I\'m going to ask again. I believe the test checks for cortisol levels, not sure. I\'m just trying to get rid of the \"energy stealers\" and I think Ambien CR is one of them. I\'ll find out the name of the test and let you know. If I forget, please remind me.

(((((HUGS)))) Lulu