It's a new semester

The week before school started I decided to watch a show call "My Mad Fat Diary" because it had been on my list for awhile, but I was putting it off because I knew it was going to make me cry. I was right, but I am glad I watched it. The main character was the embodiment of what I have struggled with my whole life, and while I have never been hospitalized for my problem like she has I could feel every emotion that the character had. She was me and I was her. It was a struggle to watch her struggle, but at the same time it was comforting the watch the character make steps to getting better. I learned a lot from it on how to handle some of my own emotions and how to cope when this get bad. I know this semester isn't going to be easy. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and I just want a semester where I do well and not having any breakdowns. I want to earn my study abroad and my 3.0 back. I want learn to live without unecessary fear this semester. I am going to be more active and go do things even if they scare me. To put it boldly, when my anxiety gets in the way and there's no reason I should be afraid, but I am I'm just going to say "F**k it" and do it anyways. Not to say i'll be crashing any parties anytimesoon, but if someone asks if I want to do something I won't say no and come up with an excuse just because I don't want to drive. I'm just going to go do it. Living in constant fear is a anchor that has been drowning me for most of my life. I want to raise it so that my ship may continue on it's course as it should be instead of always remaining in one spot and wondering why I'm not ever moving forward. Step one is to be more consistent with my diary entries. They really help me, so even if it's a boring uneventful day/week I am going to write about it.