It's a matter of time.....
Okay - now that my husband are closer to being on the same page than we ever have been - now the real test for both of us --- can we follow through on this? We know how stubborn our son is - we know that he probably will choose to leave than to accept help. I also know he will come back. I believe he will break in. Knowing how he is -- I anticipate something like that. But the main worry I have is him choosing to leave and being out on his own - especially this winter. Yes - I am told that these people can be very resilient. A facilitator in our former support group was a recovering addict and she reassured us of that.
I don't want to project too much but I do need to be prepared and a realist that this isn't going to be easy. What has been particularly difficult is that I'm not angry with T - just hurt. It would be easier if I were angry.
My husband was so happy when T apologized to him via text - about taking the money - promising him that he'll get a job to pay him back. Didn't want to burst his bubble but even if there was some element of remorse - I feel like it is more about manipulating. Shortly after that, thinking he's earned himself back into our graces, he asked me for money and later - if he could borrow my laptop. At this point I don't think he'll take my computer but I don't want to take any chances.
And then - he asks me (via text) - I told him no. He wanted to know why - I told him because we cannot trust him right now and that he'll have to earn it back. I told him that we love him and that he needs help. No comment. He did comment on my "no" however and called me a bitch. I told him that that hurt my feelings especially since it was because he didn't get his own way.
I know he's ill and his brain isn't well but - it still hurts.
I don't want to project too much but I do need to be prepared and a realist that this isn't going to be easy. What has been particularly difficult is that I'm not angry with T - just hurt. It would be easier if I were angry.
My husband was so happy when T apologized to him via text - about taking the money - promising him that he'll get a job to pay him back. Didn't want to burst his bubble but even if there was some element of remorse - I feel like it is more about manipulating. Shortly after that, thinking he's earned himself back into our graces, he asked me for money and later - if he could borrow my laptop. At this point I don't think he'll take my computer but I don't want to take any chances.
And then - he asks me (via text) - I told him no. He wanted to know why - I told him because we cannot trust him right now and that he'll have to earn it back. I told him that we love him and that he needs help. No comment. He did comment on my "no" however and called me a bitch. I told him that that hurt my feelings especially since it was because he didn't get his own way.
I know he's ill and his brain isn't well but - it still hurts.
Replies
You are right to protect the laptop -- it\'s not the pawnshop value but any personal or financial data and accompanying fraud potential. Password protect and put away...sorry to say. It doesn\'t feel good to be this way but it is very practical! Take Care!!