It\'s a BFP
My friends, my friends. I'm pregnant! I had nightmares all night last night and the jitters all morning. Then at 1:00 the pharmacy called and wanted to know when I'd be wanting my, um, what's it called? Endometrin or something. I had no idea what this was. "When did this prescription come in?" I asked. This morning, faxed in by my nurse. I told the woman on the other line, Val, that I didn't know anything about this. "Is this the kind of thing one would take if one were pregnant?" Yes, she said. "Holy shit." That's what I said. And I told her that she was the first person to tell me I was pregnant. I told her that I'd been waiting for this my whole life and now she was the one. She got a little nervous, congratulated me, and said that she really thought I should call my nurse immediately to confirm. But first I had to go get James at the airport. He was coming back from driving his parents home (to upstate NY) from vacation. When I saw him at the arrivals area, I stopped, he opened the back of the car to put his bag in, and I rushed out of the car. I took his face in my hands and looked in his eyes and said, "Hi, Daddy." He smiled, then stopped smiling, and his eyes got wide, and then he started smiling again. "Yeah!??" "Yeah!" We giggled all the way home from the airport. When we were home we called the clinic to try to find my nurse. I left a voicemail for her, waited for a while, and then James suggested we call the main line to have her paged. We left another message. And then she called back. And she confirmed that it was true. My ... what are they? Estrogen levels? My "numbers" are over 1600. She said anything over 5 was pregnant. So that puts me at "definitely." I squealed and shrieked. And of course I thanked her. My protocol is now to stop the progesterone shots and start doing the new vaginal suppositories instead, twice a day. I guess those are still progesterone, just in a different form. I think my butt will not miss the butt shots, as it has lost all feeling. Actually, this might be just the time to give myself more butt shots, while I'm still numb. When James and I got to the pharmacy I saw a woman whose lab jacket said "Valerie" something or other. I said, "Val?" and then I hugged her over the half-door that separated the pharmacy are from the waiting room. She got my suppositories and delivered them with a little picture book on Motherhood. I took her picture on my cell phone. I'm going to have to figure out how to get that off the phone. I told her she has gone down in my personal history, and she said it absolutely made her day. Me too! We are not telling our parents. That is, we are telling them that we're not going to tell them anything for 12 weeks. And I am also telling them that I'm very very happy. So they get the picture. The key is for them not to get any explicit information that we aren't telling my mother-in-law. I'm not sure why we're not telling her, except that James doesn't want her to be too involved if anything goes wrong. And so I'm going back to bed. I am beat. And I'm resting for two now, I guess. I thank all of you who have been so kind to me over the last, um, YEAR! And for my dear, dear friends still fighting the infertility battle, you know I'll never forget what you're still going through. You always have an ally in me.
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