it never was the booze
Posted in alcoholism forum: It's about loss for all of 2 seconds. Yeah, you lose your little crutch, you lose your "go-to guy", your nasty little "friend". The party's over. Boo. I can romanticize my drinking, I can remember sittin' around the fire with my brother, laughing our asses off about "Meatballio's" (new breakfast cereal, made out of meat)... I can remember sittin' by a pond, frying up bologna slices on top of a Coleman lantern, a greasy mess, laughing our asses off at the stars... also with my brother... I miss that shit. But my brother's still drinking. And struggling. I can watch him in his struggle, and it's like having a sober me and a drunk me to compare. I'm praying for him to find the peace that comes, when he realizes he can put it down and quit running... That's what surrender is to me. Putting down the weapon, and marching for a different cause. Peace of mind. What's next? Moving from loss of a romanticized notion, to RECLAIMING a real life. Taking the reigns. I keep laughter in my life, I can still laugh my ass off at the stars, and Meatballio's is STILL the funniest thing I've ever heard of, because CEREAL SHOULD NOT BE MADE OUT OF MEAT, is why... My brother and I have had some times recently, when we've been laughing hysterically, just over stupid shit, and he glances at me, and we're both sober... I can see something there... I got him thinkin'... What's next is a sense of pride. Making your own choices. Being a better you. Making real connections with people, not sloppy sloshy bull-shit ones... Howtolive, you already know how to celebrate life, with stripes and plaids and flipflops in the snow... Trust yourself here. You are the party. You bring the fun. It's not the booze. It never was the booze.
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