It may be RAINING AGAIN but my heart is full of sunshine!
A week ago I talked about the rain and the promise of sun in the near future. Well, we got some sun and even warmth but for the last few days - we've had A LOT more rain with intermittent sunshine. I told my husband that instead of buying more dirt for the new lake in our backyard, we might consider buying wood to build an ark. Unreal!
Despite this never-ending pouring rain and storms ~ things are going pretty well here despite the fact we still have two using sons. Middle guy is working on himself and trying very hard to avoid drinking. He's working out, running, seeing two therapists, is continuing to work on his extended time school work his teacher gave him, getting up at a very decent hour and going to work, as well as reffing. All good.
T-Man? Well? I finally got my husband to see a counselor. We looked and sounded too grounded to the counselor for him to comment on anything, but he must have made an impression on my hubby because my hubby is willing to sit down and write up a "plan" of expectations for T-Man. We've talked and agreed to what we're going to say but I need to have it in writing so that we are clear. In the meantime - I set some boundaries for myself that I've put off for way too long and followed through on them. T-Man ~ surly - at first - but now he's come around and actually volunteered to help me with some things without me even asking. Gaining some ground and control of myself, following through, and then seeing positive results because of them really has empowered me. As far as my husband is concerned ~ I grew tired of pretending things were okay around here. I expressed my feelings about this at our support group in front of my husband, I refused to back down and wouldn't "let" my husband pay our son's court fees, I insisted that we go to counseling, and I stood up for myself and for our son - because what we've been doing wasn't helping him or us. It was making me crazy too ~ allowing him too much freedom. We still have a ways but this was monumental! I feel serene. Thank You God!
Despite this never-ending pouring rain and storms ~ things are going pretty well here despite the fact we still have two using sons. Middle guy is working on himself and trying very hard to avoid drinking. He's working out, running, seeing two therapists, is continuing to work on his extended time school work his teacher gave him, getting up at a very decent hour and going to work, as well as reffing. All good.
T-Man? Well? I finally got my husband to see a counselor. We looked and sounded too grounded to the counselor for him to comment on anything, but he must have made an impression on my hubby because my hubby is willing to sit down and write up a "plan" of expectations for T-Man. We've talked and agreed to what we're going to say but I need to have it in writing so that we are clear. In the meantime - I set some boundaries for myself that I've put off for way too long and followed through on them. T-Man ~ surly - at first - but now he's come around and actually volunteered to help me with some things without me even asking. Gaining some ground and control of myself, following through, and then seeing positive results because of them really has empowered me. As far as my husband is concerned ~ I grew tired of pretending things were okay around here. I expressed my feelings about this at our support group in front of my husband, I refused to back down and wouldn't "let" my husband pay our son's court fees, I insisted that we go to counseling, and I stood up for myself and for our son - because what we've been doing wasn't helping him or us. It was making me crazy too ~ allowing him too much freedom. We still have a ways but this was monumental! I feel serene. Thank You God!
Replies
Whew---stand back, World! I am glad personally that you did what you did. Sometimes it takes toeing a line and really holding it there for both the acting-out kid and their family to see what\'s what.
Are you in the PNW like me? Wet and web-footed? I know it\'s raining in lots of places in the US but I thought I\'d check. You don\'t have to say if you don\'t want to. We are certainly wet here.
THAT IS FANTASTIC, it really realy is. well done, you have made a tremendous step forward - well loads of steps forwards...and what is more - so has your husband? hugs Cathrynnxxx
WAY TO GO!