It just hurts

It was only a complex partial seizure, and it only lasted 15 - 25 seconds, but it's been two months seizure free and we where all starting to breath again.  It's funny how you don't notice the pressure in your chest and the shallow breathing until it happens again, then it starts all over.  Sleepless, worried nights, if I could take them away from her and keep them, I would.  It's so painful to keep going through this.  I don't know how all of you make it through.  Sometimes, I just don't have any more strength left.