It just got much, much worse...

I just found out DH's cousin in pregnant. she has been for several moths but no one wanted to tell me... they all lied to my face and pretended that nothing was going on. tonight DH decided to tell me, he knew for 2 weeks.
I feel betrayed, by him, my in laws and most of all by my body that couldn't hold on to my baby girl.
I feel numb and sad and sick and angry and like I want a hole to crawl into, somewhere to run and hide, but there isn't one.
To make things worse, they are coming over tomorrow... I don't  even have the  time to adjust. how to bare it, how to get through it, how to breathe knowing that they have all been holding it in like a dirty little secret. I feel like they have all been whispering behind my back, pitying me... oh poor little Paulina... how shall we ever tell her...
But now I know, and now I feel stupid and if I could  I would cry and scream and rant and rave; if only I could...