It is 3 am
We are at Andrew and Tiina's. I was woken up at 2:30 by a cat trying to eat my hair! They have 4 cats - 2 are very energetic kittens. Wiley decided my hair would make a great snack...
Life is okay. I am starting to think of what to pack for India. February 3 is approaching fast. It will be nice to escape winter for awhile, though our weather is mild right now - well mild for us. It was raining which is most unusual here in February.
I had a wonderful walk yesterday with Rose. I am so happy to have a SOTH to spend time with. I can talk about Lisa and shed a tear and that is okay. I love to hear stories of Ami. There is a comfort with a SOTH that is really not possible with anyone else. And we are getting exercise to boot! Together we are discovering the wonderful outdoor trails and parks in Calgary.
We got a call from Cevyn yesterday. Actually she has been calling more often lately. She is one amazing girl. She got a place to live in Oakville (where she was supposed to go to school). When she had signed the lease, moved in and was settled, she went to the college to organize classes and pay etc. She was told that the deadline for payment was in November (she obviously missed something) and she was not on the register and could not attend. She was very ticked because she had been getting emails from them in December and no mention was made of payment. So now she lives away and is not going to school or working. She was obviously upset but seems okay now. Her comment was "I guess I was just meant to have a gap year". She is looking for a job - or at least planning to.
She called yesterday from Niagara Falls. She was pretty pleased as she can drive there in less than an hour. Oakville is actually considered part of Greater Toronto so she has access to all the concerts etc. Luckily she has money as she inherited some money from my brother and had some from the settlement. I hope she finds a job soon as the money won't last forever!
When Cevyn calls, I tend to have a double take. She sounds just like her mom on the phone. I am getting used to it but it can give me a start. On one hand I love it, but then I feel incredible sadness knowing it is not Lisa. Of course I am always delighted to talk to Cevyn but I am selfish. I want both of them.
So that is enough rambling for now. It is 4 am now so perhaps I can catch a bit of sleep.
Lisa: I hope you are watching over that incredible daughter of yours. I miss you always and love you forever. Mummy
Life is okay. I am starting to think of what to pack for India. February 3 is approaching fast. It will be nice to escape winter for awhile, though our weather is mild right now - well mild for us. It was raining which is most unusual here in February.
I had a wonderful walk yesterday with Rose. I am so happy to have a SOTH to spend time with. I can talk about Lisa and shed a tear and that is okay. I love to hear stories of Ami. There is a comfort with a SOTH that is really not possible with anyone else. And we are getting exercise to boot! Together we are discovering the wonderful outdoor trails and parks in Calgary.
We got a call from Cevyn yesterday. Actually she has been calling more often lately. She is one amazing girl. She got a place to live in Oakville (where she was supposed to go to school). When she had signed the lease, moved in and was settled, she went to the college to organize classes and pay etc. She was told that the deadline for payment was in November (she obviously missed something) and she was not on the register and could not attend. She was very ticked because she had been getting emails from them in December and no mention was made of payment. So now she lives away and is not going to school or working. She was obviously upset but seems okay now. Her comment was "I guess I was just meant to have a gap year". She is looking for a job - or at least planning to.
She called yesterday from Niagara Falls. She was pretty pleased as she can drive there in less than an hour. Oakville is actually considered part of Greater Toronto so she has access to all the concerts etc. Luckily she has money as she inherited some money from my brother and had some from the settlement. I hope she finds a job soon as the money won't last forever!
When Cevyn calls, I tend to have a double take. She sounds just like her mom on the phone. I am getting used to it but it can give me a start. On one hand I love it, but then I feel incredible sadness knowing it is not Lisa. Of course I am always delighted to talk to Cevyn but I am selfish. I want both of them.
So that is enough rambling for now. It is 4 am now so perhaps I can catch a bit of sleep.
Lisa: I hope you are watching over that incredible daughter of yours. I miss you always and love you forever. Mummy
Replies
Best wishes for a happy and safe journey to India. I will look forward to hearing about it when you are able.
Exercise and a nearby soth? How lucky!
Too bad about Cevyn\'s disappointment with school...
Of course you want Cevyn and Lisa both! Sigh... There was one point when I was the only one who could figure out Dave\'s, Chris\', and Josh\'s voices on the phone. I want them ALL too!
I hope you were able to get some more sleep.
I am praying that everything will work out. Lisa must be watching out and knows more than we do. Sometimes time off and working gives us an appreciation of the need for good education for a good job that will pay your worth.
I hope all goes well, India is coming ........
big hugs ~ Penny
off to India!! cool beans!!!!
As I was walking yesterday I saw and heard a young woman calling her grandmother and thought, oh I can\'t wait till mine can do that. :) How wonderful to have Cevyn want to share her life and what is happening with you two and I have no doubt she will figure something out. Also, perhaps be put on a list if anyone drops out or decides at the last minute to do something else? I know that might keep her hanging too much, yet I\'m sure something she has thought of.
Have fun planning your vacation, and yes, that date is right around the corner and glad to know that Rose and you are walking. It\'s the best and with a sister of the heart too. :)
Hopeful you fell back to sleep and caught a few more ZZZ\'s.
Loving care,
XO Joanie
Boy do I know what you mean about recognizing the voice. John, Jim and Jason all have very similar voices. When one of the boys would call me and say Hi Mom...I would say who is this because I was never sure if it was Jason or Jim. Then cell phones with caller id happened, but still sometime when Jim calls I think how much he sounds like Jason. And still when I hear Jim or John in another part of the house it\'s like I\'m hearing Jason. Sometimes it makes me happy mostly it brings out the longing again. Big Sigh!
I really enjoyed Cevyn in Tahoe - she is such a delight. Lisa must be so proud!!! Enjoy India. Know what you mean about the cats. We have one that will stick it\'s cold nose in your face to see if you are awake in the middle of the night. Hugs, Ann
Marlene, I have the same experience with Joshua, Ed\'s son.. He looks and sounds so much like Ed. It is both a blessing and a curse, but like you I am always glad to hear from my grandson so I\'ll take it. It sounds like Cevyn is making the best of things and I am sure it is good for her to have her grandmum to talk with.
Enjoy your trip. Love to you and Lisa, Linda
I am so excited, for you!! Going to India sounds so awesome. I am like the other soth, I look forward to the pictures !!
What a bummer, for Cevyn!! Oh well, maybe she will land a dream job!!
I know you want Lisa and Cevyn!! You will always have that mother\'s heart, that wants her child. I know, because I have it too...
(((HUGS)))...Julia
Hoping that the excitement of your trip will be such a great event. What a memory you are making. Have lots of fun knowing that your Lisa will be with you each part of the trip. Cevyn will be such a strong person for all the help and support you give to her. That dream job is just around the corner.
Hugs, Kathy
Wow... near Niagara Falls. I have been there twice and oh if I could I\'d love to go again and again. Just beautiful and I like the houses across the way and the town just seems very nice and country as you go further out... we traveled from Ontario to Toronto and the fields were so lush and green. An hour is too far to travel for work or I\'d encourage Cevyn to get a job at the Skylon Towers. That would be so awesome... to work everyday with that beautiful view... I will keep her in my prayers that she gets a job for her gap year or that perhaps as one of the other moms suggested an opening becomes available.
I am looking forward to seeing your pics when you get home too. If you get a chance please take some when you, Lisa, Ami and Ami\'s mom your SOTH walking friend go walking... I don\'t think I\'ve been to Calgary... Not sure where it is. I will have to look online. I certainly hear what you\'re saying... the tug on your heart strings... I see Elizabeth and my first thought is its Cara... then I begin to see the differences one by one... and I try not to comment on the likeness because I don\'t want her to think I expect her to fill Cara\'s place in any of our lives... she couldn\'t... but I don\'t want her to carry the burden of trying... this is Elizabeth\'s life... but oh yes... even picturing Elizabeth and her resemblance to Cara there is a lump in my throat... like you its not that I want Elizabeth to be Cara... I want them both... I imagine for you as for me there\'s a wee bit of anger on Cevyn\'s behalf as for me on Elizabeth\'s that their mothers aren\'t here for them as well as for us. They as we have to learn to treasure the memories and endure the pain... Another one of those things we learn to accept...