It hurts

My ex and I were together for fifteen years. I had to make the decision to break up because he wouldn't.  He remained virtually silent during the break up, wouldn't communicate with me at all.  I still have no idea how he feels about it.  I had to make all the decisions and had to trust myself I was doing the right thing.  I moved out this past New Years Eve, and bought a place of my own.  I moved in this past Saturday.  I have so many unanswered questions and sometimes I can't stop obsessing about them. I tell myself that by dwelling on them I am only inflicting more hurt upon myself.  And there has been enough hurt as a result of this relationship and having a partner who refused, or was unable to communicate with me.  But how can I stop thinking about him after fifteen years of having him in my life everyday?He's already out playing the field.  He's meeting up with strangers he finds on a hook up app.  The last four years of our relationship he wouldn't have sex with me.  He said he had a problem with sex and that he wasn't a sexual person.  He was obviously lying.  Finding out that he was on one of those apps hooking up with strangers broke my heart.  It still hurts and I can't get the image of his profile picture out of my mind.  It was a picture taken of the two of us three years ago but he cropped me out of it.  We live in Atlanta but his profile said he lived in New York.  He's there on business at least three days a week.  I guess he was cheating while he was with me.  I even asked him several times if he was and he denied it.  But I knew because my instinct said it was true.  I just didn't want to except it.Sometimes the sadness is so great my heart begins to ache, literally.  My chest starts hurting and I have to stop and take slow breaths.  I want it to go away, but I have been through this before and I have to let it run it's course.It's just going to take time and as hard as that is to except, it's the only way I am going to heal.