It has to get better..

So, from last thursday to now has been a emotional roller coaster ride, of sheer madness. I feel like the last 3 days have been evident of why God hasn't allowed me to get pregnant. Without getting into detail, I am so sad, happy, sad... I'm sad because of where my husband and I are at this moment, and I am happy by my choice to NOT allow this to depress my whole day and weekend.  God loves me so much to protect me.. and my husband needs to get his act together.  We all have faults and it takes a true man to dig deep and be willing to change his not matter how hard it gets.  I ache and hurt all over physically and mentally, but there is a need to NOT let this steal my joy away.  I beleive in the face of adversity when it tackles you on the ground, it stands over you and says "STAY DOWN", thats when I get up and say "NO!" I WILL Not let you ruin my day!  Marriage is tough, and you have to really dig deep and evaluate what unconditional love really is.. Then, ask God what am I to learn from this.  All I know in the present moment that if I continue to be sad and depress then it equals anger, resentment, discouragement, and more sadness, BUT if I try to think positive thoughts and thinking then I can lift myself up and thats my choice today.  My baby needs a momma that can trust God when all hell has broken loose, and stay positive when life hands you a suckey hand!