it has brought all the pain back with it

So i got my period for the 1st time after losing Macy yesterday. Almost 3 months later. I knew it was going to be hard to deal with but it has brought back all the painful memories of losing my angel. Is it going to be like this every month?Its not only been the emotional p[ain but ive been having alot of cramping and back pain as well and the bleeding is heavy so it doesnt help when im trying to look at it as a normal natural thing. It just brings back all the sadness i had when i was feeling Macy slip away. This world is not fair i shouldnt even have my period i should be pregant with my daughter