It has been almost 6 weeks

Much of my memory seems to focus on her last few months. Now the fun parts start surfacing when looking at the photos we were together and things we did together. I just missed you so much babe. I went to the garden I used to wheelchair her everyday for the past week and I will continue to go to remember you. When I was there I cried and cried. Cry does make me feel better. I pray every day for you and believe we will meet in Heaven and, importantly, I am not afraid of death anymore because I know you will be the one meeting me when I die--I am looking forward to that. I went to school almost every day to keep myself busy so I won't fall very far behind in work--maybe one day I will work again but who knows what kind of work I want to do. Your passing makes me rethink everything I do and reevaluate the value of my life--I believe this evaluation is a good thing--a blessing you give to me.
I have tried to reach out in my grief. I still talk to Dira regularly and meet a colleague, who lost his wife middle-age, once a week. I am meeting Regina, a grief counselor who is very responsible and calls many times to ask my situation. I am involved in an online support group--Daily Strength and I found that helping others in the same situation helps me heal as well. I pray every day, with Maribel who has helped me greatly in house chores. Still got sister Hong, Wang Hong, Kai, Xuejiao and Chao. I go to church and meet some new friends, and I also play badminton game regularly. 
Mom's situation is stable. Sister Shen is helping her. She is a window so she helps me too. We are waiting for father's test results. I hope they are fine. 
I miss you badly babe, but I know that you are in Heaven, rests in peace, without pain and suffering, which is exactly what you want. If your spirit comes to visit, that would be great. But eventually, although I terribly miss you, I will have to let you go. Love Dahu