It feels like...

It feels like torture. It feels like.. Hatred.

i can't exactly put my finger on a certain word to describe it, but it feels awful.

it feels like I'm not meant to be. And that I'm just as worthless as a pebble sitting on the groun.

it feels like I shouldn't be here, talking to them.

and sometimes I feel right about everything that I'm thinking, so I leave. And then I feel even worse because I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have left because they are my friends.

they ask me why I left so quickly, and I feel like I should be able to explain to them how I feel exactly.

but then I feel embarrassed because this isn't how 'normal' people feel.