issues with church
my latest post:
i am in this group because i survived child abuse. my mother was the abuser. i moved out 3 and a half years ago, she was sentenced, and we still have a relationship and talk on a regular basis.
my mother was very strict. if i had to miss church for an reason-even for a choir concert (which was a graded assignment) or homework, i was made to feel horrible. suddenly, whatever was keeping me from church was more important to me than god. my favorite singer is celine dion, and my mom routinely accused me of "worshipping her".
she fooled our church family into thinking that she was "the perfect mom", so when i told my aide at school (who also went to our church) she thought i was exaggerating. i soon became very uncomfortable in church because i was made to put on this face like everything was fine. in my mind, that was the same thing as lying; but without saying the lie out loud. i constantly felt like i was sinning in the house of god. in the one place where people were supposed to be like family...the place where i was suppose to be able to be free and worship...i was being made to lie. because of all of this, i had a very messed up relationship with god. i believed in him and loved him. but i didn't read the bible, wear dresses at church, or go to retreats to please or glorify god. i did them to please mom.
when i moved, i began to have a fulfilling relationship with god. however, i am still very uncomfortable in churches.
my mom came over and asked if i wanted to go to church with her tomorrow. i said no. i feel like i should be over it by now. i want to go to church. it would be nice if i could go with her. what do i do? can any of you relate to this?-fallon
i am in this group because i survived child abuse. my mother was the abuser. i moved out 3 and a half years ago, she was sentenced, and we still have a relationship and talk on a regular basis.
my mother was very strict. if i had to miss church for an reason-even for a choir concert (which was a graded assignment) or homework, i was made to feel horrible. suddenly, whatever was keeping me from church was more important to me than god. my favorite singer is celine dion, and my mom routinely accused me of "worshipping her".
she fooled our church family into thinking that she was "the perfect mom", so when i told my aide at school (who also went to our church) she thought i was exaggerating. i soon became very uncomfortable in church because i was made to put on this face like everything was fine. in my mind, that was the same thing as lying; but without saying the lie out loud. i constantly felt like i was sinning in the house of god. in the one place where people were supposed to be like family...the place where i was suppose to be able to be free and worship...i was being made to lie. because of all of this, i had a very messed up relationship with god. i believed in him and loved him. but i didn't read the bible, wear dresses at church, or go to retreats to please or glorify god. i did them to please mom.
when i moved, i began to have a fulfilling relationship with god. however, i am still very uncomfortable in churches.
my mom came over and asked if i wanted to go to church with her tomorrow. i said no. i feel like i should be over it by now. i want to go to church. it would be nice if i could go with her. what do i do? can any of you relate to this?-fallon
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