ISS
30 odd years after my still young son went volcanic and became a regular in ISS, I still donae know the words of "ISS." When dealing with the childish issues which lead a student to ISS, acronymic accuracy seems downright trite. In between those crises, my curiosity seldom rises above the wish for denial. "Bad Kid Class" is as accurate a word set for "ISS" as any.
Big Bro went volcanic in class yesterday. His hot lava spewed the entire classroom. I believe I saw a few scorch marks on her face as the teacher attempted to update me on the ? ? ? whachamacallit. Big Bro's new friend and his mother (M) were standing next to me during the teacher's update. I amnae certain the mother's English is strong enough to have understood the words, but there wasnae a doubt she understood the tones. While we waited for the school bell in the lobby, M and I had been discussing an invitation to Big Bro's basketball game this Saturday. I amnae certain if she was more thrilled with the invitation or the fact that she understood the invitation. The new friend's arrival might have been a friendly expansion on the topic ifnae for the teacher on his heels hauling a contrite Big Bro by the coat hood. Needle scratches across vynal anyone? ? ?
When I texted M with the game data as we had agreed earlier, she texted back thanks that were in line with the weekend thanks for her son's new friend. My spider sense tells me she isnae a stranger to the scenario and perhaps even eager for a gentler review of the process and all that acronymic English attached. ^It^ be a wordy process. Does I really **have to** work ^it^ again? I done my time for the childbearing crime. . . Grandparenting is *supposed to be* the fun part. I'm feeling my oughtism this morning. It oughta be this way. . . It oughta be that way. . . It oughta ought the naught of the yaddah taught. . .
The morning calm seems to be holding over the household, but I'm fucking scared (FS?). . . Breathing. . . Wearing my rosary. . .
Replies
ISS I believe is... In School Suspension, separation from the class room? separate lunch time... took me 8 years of being a lunch lady hearing the acronym to figure or ask what it meant. Eleven more working days and I will be out of there. I think I will make...
I was a little boy with PTSD once, arfie, as you know. I've had PTSD since I was 9 years old overseas as a missionary kid when I was in that car bombing. I'm 61 now and I still talk about it here along with the other combat trauma I got over a decade following that car bombing as a kid. I'm here every day so I can practice what my therapist calls how "repetition brings mastery," and what I need mastery over is that volcano I have inside from so much pain, a volcano like your Big Bro has in him.
I get it. It's hard to live with, I'm twice divorced, I'm estranged from my family of origin, I live alone, and I work a lower level job than I should with my experience and credentials. It's tough to be around volcanic boys like Big Bro and me because it's tough just to be volcanic boys like Big Bro and me.
Understanding doesn't make it easy, but it makes it possible. Sending you my support for that possibility for today.
Hubs and I divided the driving duties this morning. Hubs drove the girls to daycare while I went into the office with Big Bro where we learned that ISS does, indeed, stand for "In School Suspension." The receptionist clued in immediately and focused on helping Big Bro on getting past the anxiety of his first trip to "Bad Kid Class." Leaving the jar of honey with an apology note taped to it for his teacher seemed to help ease his guilt over yesterday's class disruption. Seemed. . . Do we really get to know what goes on in a 6 year old head? At any rate, I felt reasonably secure leaving him in the office this morning.
Now I am gearing up for a call to his grief counselor. He has no clerical help, so I will probably be leaving a message. Perhaps, "Hello Mister P. This is Big Bro's grandmother. Big Bro's anger outbursts have continued to escalate to the point where today he is in ISS for a classroom altercation yesterday. I thought you should be updated on the situation and I am hoping you have suggestions to offer on how to handle the situation."
Chewing. . . Big Bro's next appointment is the week after next. I amnae certain he can wait that long, but I am feeling more than a bit panicky. Panic attacks have a way of inserting urgency where waiting ^it^ out is the better course of action.
Thanks for the support, guys. Does this ever get easier? Have we found our New N-word (normal) yet?
Grief counselor contacted. The shock of encountering a human voice, albeit a human with nary a receptionist skill in his toolbox, set me off with a wicked stutter, but I (we?) recouped well enough fast enough to initiate the conversation. He is going to try to schedule an appointment to visit with Big Bro at school. Big Bro and I had already discussed the possibility of an extra visit with Mister P. Big Bro loves Mister P and agreed heartily. He listened silently while I discussed that possibility with the school receptionist and left Mister P's business card with her, just in case. Ol' Justin has been a fruitful companion in my broken life. "Just in case" is far, far from a guarantee but ya never knows what tree the right nut will fall out of.
Awaiting updates. We see what grows.
Big hug Arf….. I hope that the game with a new friend will go great this weekend..... Deep breaths and a blessing.....xo
Oh I wish I could envelop you both in a healing compassionate hug. You have both been through too much and if ptsd ever had a silver lining it is that it helps you understand what this dear boy is going through. You’re doing your best and getting this young child counselling is a gift for him. I wish someone had done it for me and you at that age Arfie. A lot of people harshly judge a child instead of trying to help them.
Arfie..Im am praying for peace for you both. Poor little heart Big Bro clearly is coping with things and anger is how he is expressing it. Your doing a good job. Yes, counselors are hard to get scheduled and very rarely available when we need them. But, im glad you have something scheduled.