Is this real?

It has only been 2+ weeks since my wife died so everything is still so fresh but this feels downright impossible.  Nothing feels the same and I can't imagine it ever will.  It's even difficult to have fun playing with our daughter, who just turned 3 back in March.  She is so imaginative, playful and full of life and she regularly brings a smile to my face but even with her I don't always feel fully engaged.  So much going through my head that I've never experienced before...sadness, anger, confusion, grief, disbelief...it's crazy.  Then when I feel okay I feel guilty.  Not to mention that what would have been her 34th birthday is two weeks from yesterday, falling the day before Mother's Day this year.  That should make for a fun weekend.
More to follow...such as our story and hopefully some good memories as well as more venting I'm sure....