Is there Something Wrong?
Geo keeps asking me what's wrong. I know I've been feeling a bit off lately, but I feel good at the same time. Physically I don't feel all that great, and I have felt the need for comfort food (chicken soup) but I don't know if there is something wrong. I don't feel like there is something wrong with me... I feel fine for the most part. So I'm going to try and figure out what could be wrong. My mom called me today and said she was asking my brother to lend her the money to get me to go up there to see her while she is on her last week of sick leave from work from the stroke. I feel bad asking my brother for help, but at the same time I know for the most part he can afford it. He just got back from vacation in Italy, so he might be hurting a bit for money from after the vacation, but he can make up for it. I don't think that's what's making me feel bad, though, because I've been feeling bad for a couple days, before my mom even suggested I come up there.
Maybe it's the stress from work. Or maybe it's just PMS. I think that's what it is. I'm supposed to be getting my period, and I haven't yet. I think it's PMS. That's why I feel dizzy sometimes standing too long in the kitchen, but I can walk for over an hour fine. I did do my walk today, 2.5 miles... that took me an hour and 19 minutes. That's just 4 minutes over my target speed, so that's great. And I sat down for a minute too, even though I didn't really need to. I think that helped me feel better today, but Geo was still asking what was wrong.
When I got up this morning, Geo did have an attitude about him, and I let it get to me a bit, but I was okay. I didn't sleep too well last night.... I slept a lot, 14 hours, but my friend Jon called me at 9am and it woke me up, and my mom called at noon. I should have gotten up when my mom called, but I was too tired and slept until 2. I still managed to get my walk in, and do the stuff that needed to be done (look up ticket information, stuff like that). I also made dinner. So the stuff that needed to be done today got done... if I go up to see my mom I can just do laundry at her place, so I'm not worrying about laundry right now. If I do go see her, I want to get some of those clothes I got from Freecycle sorted out so I can wash the ones I want and leave the rest for Goodwill.
For now, I'm just going to chalk up this feeling of something wrong to PMS. I can't be pregnant, there's no way (I haven't done the stuff needed to get pregnant in long time), so it must just be PMS. I'm surprised I haven't gotten my period yet, but it will come in time. I just wanted it over and done with so I could move on. I have this pregnancy paranoia... I always think I'm pregnant if my period is just a couple days late, so I'm dealing with that paranoia right now. I've been taking the Pill like I should, and at the same time every day, plus no sex, so that means no baby, but I'm still paranoid. You don't need a reason to be paranoid. I think the paranoia has seeped into my life and is making me think all these crazy things in the background.
Mood today was good... I got up, had my coffee, went for my walk and rested a bit. I've been tired all day, like I normally get when I oversleep, but I hadn't had much sleep lately so I wanted to make up for it. Tomorrow Geo and I are supposed to have a date, so I can't sleep too late. We are supposed to leave at 2pm, so that means I have to be up by 1pm at the latest. I gotta get ready to look pretty on my date, right? I feel kinda bad that he's taking me out to lunch when it's going to be his birthday and I can't take him out to dinner, but he got a nice gift that overshadows that.
I'm low again on my calories today, but I got over 1,400 in, so that's a good thing. I weighed today and I was 241.5 again... I seem to be stuck there again. I will see how I do tomorrow... I didn't drink my water today, so I'm probably going to weight more. I gain weight when I don't drink my water. I just went and got some more water, so hopefully by the end of tonight I will be able to get it all in. Stress was moderate today.... I'm putting moderate because of this PMS hanging over my head and making me feel not that great. There was a slight incident with Geo, but it's nothing big (I hope). Until I can find out more information, I'm just going to leave it as a private matter. I know Geo loves me, and that's the important thing. He was very loving and caring today, and I appreciated it a lot.
Maybe it's the stress from work. Or maybe it's just PMS. I think that's what it is. I'm supposed to be getting my period, and I haven't yet. I think it's PMS. That's why I feel dizzy sometimes standing too long in the kitchen, but I can walk for over an hour fine. I did do my walk today, 2.5 miles... that took me an hour and 19 minutes. That's just 4 minutes over my target speed, so that's great. And I sat down for a minute too, even though I didn't really need to. I think that helped me feel better today, but Geo was still asking what was wrong.
When I got up this morning, Geo did have an attitude about him, and I let it get to me a bit, but I was okay. I didn't sleep too well last night.... I slept a lot, 14 hours, but my friend Jon called me at 9am and it woke me up, and my mom called at noon. I should have gotten up when my mom called, but I was too tired and slept until 2. I still managed to get my walk in, and do the stuff that needed to be done (look up ticket information, stuff like that). I also made dinner. So the stuff that needed to be done today got done... if I go up to see my mom I can just do laundry at her place, so I'm not worrying about laundry right now. If I do go see her, I want to get some of those clothes I got from Freecycle sorted out so I can wash the ones I want and leave the rest for Goodwill.
For now, I'm just going to chalk up this feeling of something wrong to PMS. I can't be pregnant, there's no way (I haven't done the stuff needed to get pregnant in long time), so it must just be PMS. I'm surprised I haven't gotten my period yet, but it will come in time. I just wanted it over and done with so I could move on. I have this pregnancy paranoia... I always think I'm pregnant if my period is just a couple days late, so I'm dealing with that paranoia right now. I've been taking the Pill like I should, and at the same time every day, plus no sex, so that means no baby, but I'm still paranoid. You don't need a reason to be paranoid. I think the paranoia has seeped into my life and is making me think all these crazy things in the background.
Mood today was good... I got up, had my coffee, went for my walk and rested a bit. I've been tired all day, like I normally get when I oversleep, but I hadn't had much sleep lately so I wanted to make up for it. Tomorrow Geo and I are supposed to have a date, so I can't sleep too late. We are supposed to leave at 2pm, so that means I have to be up by 1pm at the latest. I gotta get ready to look pretty on my date, right? I feel kinda bad that he's taking me out to lunch when it's going to be his birthday and I can't take him out to dinner, but he got a nice gift that overshadows that.
I'm low again on my calories today, but I got over 1,400 in, so that's a good thing. I weighed today and I was 241.5 again... I seem to be stuck there again. I will see how I do tomorrow... I didn't drink my water today, so I'm probably going to weight more. I gain weight when I don't drink my water. I just went and got some more water, so hopefully by the end of tonight I will be able to get it all in. Stress was moderate today.... I'm putting moderate because of this PMS hanging over my head and making me feel not that great. There was a slight incident with Geo, but it's nothing big (I hope). Until I can find out more information, I'm just going to leave it as a private matter. I know Geo loves me, and that's the important thing. He was very loving and caring today, and I appreciated it a lot.
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