Is the Universe against us? CONTINUED
CONTINUED: So ironically, when W(who still does not know about A) would be in the "you don't do anything right" constant put-down mode, I would quietly reconnect with OW. Then, as time went on W would back off and actually try to sincerely reconnect with me. I would feel guilty about the A and before I knew it, OW would begin to act in a way that made me want to run back to my W and my M.
Anyway, after several of these "Ping-Pong" back and fourths, I have now joined this group and taken other steps to break with OW like never before (although not as explicit as it should be). As I said in another post, OW is hurt, confused/bewildered and I feel bad about that but it needs to be done for the sake of my own emotional well being and that of my family including my two daughters (12 and 4). Ironically, now that I am in this support group and resolved to maintain NC, the Universe (God or the Devil?) has thrown a curve ball at me in the form of my W having an emotional episode where in her eyes I cannot do anything right and is firing a barrage of put-downs. I don't want to blow-up at her (and that is not really my temperament anyway) but this is all very trying. Just got to ride it out I guess. Part of me even believes that my being distracted with the A (and with ending the A) has put this negative energy into the W anyway. The Universe is testing me to see if I really can maintain NC and work on my M.
Anyway, after several of these "Ping-Pong" back and fourths, I have now joined this group and taken other steps to break with OW like never before (although not as explicit as it should be). As I said in another post, OW is hurt, confused/bewildered and I feel bad about that but it needs to be done for the sake of my own emotional well being and that of my family including my two daughters (12 and 4). Ironically, now that I am in this support group and resolved to maintain NC, the Universe (God or the Devil?) has thrown a curve ball at me in the form of my W having an emotional episode where in her eyes I cannot do anything right and is firing a barrage of put-downs. I don't want to blow-up at her (and that is not really my temperament anyway) but this is all very trying. Just got to ride it out I guess. Part of me even believes that my being distracted with the A (and with ending the A) has put this negative energy into the W anyway. The Universe is testing me to see if I really can maintain NC and work on my M.
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