Is the panic going to ruin me?
I went to the doc yesterday and the MRI showed that I was born without a joint in my foot. I asked the doc why its bothering me now. He said he didn't know. But it can be corrected without surgery. Thank you God. He is slowly going to raise my arch 1/8th of an inch at a time til we get to 3/8th inch. I have to go back in a month to see if its working.Now the bad part. I went to work last night and started feeling dizzy again. I thought oh no the panic. 2 or 3 times before I was able to shake it off but not last night. I ended up leaving work 3 hrs early and when I couldn't find my supervisor I just left. I called him when I got home and crying. He said it was o.k. I actually felt like I was having a heart attack. I got Ken to take the kids to my sister in law and then take me to the hospital. When I got there I got worse. I felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn't breathe and I told Ken I needed to go home. So we did. I didn't sleep all night trying to breath and control the panic. Ken left to go get the kids not long after we got home and I told him I just wanted him to stay with me but then I said go get the kids because I could tell it was bothering him. I hate this. I thought I had conquered most the this panic thing and now I'm afraid to go back to work. Its like I'm starting all over again. I am really scared and don't know what to do. My chest still hurts and I just want to cry but not in front of the kids. Now I'm thinking I can't go to the zoo. I can't go back to work. I'm afraid I will become agoraphobic again. Oh God I prayed this would be a wake up call and told God I would get back in church and serve him like I'm supposed to do. I just can't go through this again.
Replies
Oh Stella....... my heart breaks for you.. you know I\'ve been going thru the same thing. that\'s why I finally decided to go to therapy.. I know how you feel, and I\'m soooooooooooo sorry you had such a bad panic attack, I know how scared you were.. I wish I had the magic answer for you, and I know how scared you are that this is all coming back, but all I can say, is TRY TRY to keep positive and believe that it was just a setback , and doesn\'t mean you are headed down that road again. It doesn\'t have to mean that. You are strong, you\'ve proven it over and over again, so hang on to that, and how far you\'ve come, and BELIEVE that you can get thru this.... my thoughts and prayers are with you, and I\'m here if you need me... Always ...... love you xxxxxxx Gaye
It\'s just one incident. Don\'t let it spoil everything else. You have come SO far and you will overcome this too. Look Up, God loves you and He is on your side.