Is that a small step to win a little of myself back again?

2 weeks ago, I crossed my ex and his f--k buddy in a party. Also I managed to be high and cool, said "hi" to him with calm, and didn't look at his partner even once. But still, it was so bitter and toxic.
Today there's a party at the same bar. My friends are there. They called me. I wondered for a while. I wasn't in mood for a party today.
What if I cross him again? I want to see him. But it'll be very bitter. I can show the cool face, but for what? Just for him to think that I'm so over him? While the fact that it is not. Or what if I cross his f--k buddy? I'll ignore her like I don't even notice her existence? It'll be so bitter too. Moreover, I'm not in mood for party, so if I go there, it'll be for him, not for me to enjoy myself.
So I decided to stay home. That is just for myself. Yes, I've managed to do something just  for me, not for him anymore. Even though I feel uncomfortable when he is out there, partying, while I'm home alone. But being home is what I want to do today. 
Is that a small step of the progress of winning myself back again?



Yes your becoming aware of your feelings and being home is what you wanted to do. Your in control in how to feel and can change that feeling....Loving yourself is the first step in knowing who you are....check out my post Who are you? I was inspired in discovering about myself.