Is Love a Drug?

I have read a number of posts and journal entries about heartbreaks, break-ups and divorce and getting over that special someone, who as it turns out, isn't quite as special as we hoped. And in the mass of feelings of frustration, disappointment and despair, many blame love itself, and finally themselves. Love is a drug, like a narcotic or alcohol, they say. Finally many make the decision to band together in a support group, not only to share support, comfort and words of encouragement, but to support the resolution to combat the evil of addiction of love.Since I have had my own share of  heartbreaks, frustration and disappointments, I read this and think about the merits of this argumentation. For the past few years, I have paid more attention to my emotions and what they are attempting to communicate to me, because ignoring them almost cost me my very sanity once. I was fortunate enough to recover from this condition without the aid of mood drugs, and years and years of psychological treatment - by accident I think sometimes. Of course when I hear these arguments about love being an entity which works like a narcotic, I worry that I might be caught up in a disease I am unaware of. And the more I read about it, the more uncertain I become, and wonder if the arguments for learning to "let go of" or forsake love are sensible or else might be the surest way to make yourself permanently unhappy. While I was undergoing psychotherapy, discussing emotions was a central topic. At the time I felt so overwhelmed by negative emotions that I was unable to concentrate or remember even the simplest of things. I was very anxious, and feared I had dementia or Alzheimer's. It became such a habit that I wasn't even really aware that I was feeling any kind of emotions, just a permanent feeling of deep depression and feeling disoriented and lost - or as Pink Floyd would say, "comfortably numb" - without the aid of drugs, narcotics or alcohol. I had a lot of emotions to sort out, especially in the frustration and disappointment department. That's why I felt very confused about the topic love addiction, because people who find themselves suddenly under the label of "love addicts" only seem to realise this in the middle of a heartbreak, when the frustration and disappointment are greatest, and least bearable. You never hear about anybody joining a love addict support group when they are in the falling-in-love-phase, complaining about a "relapse", do you? I haven't seen a single post with some poor person who was crying out, "Help! I've gone done it again! I just had the greatest sex in my life with a person I am crazy about, and I can't cope!" No! You only hear from them when they have parted with this person, and are suffering from the heartbreak of unrequitted love, and feeling frustrated, unhappy and disappointed. So is love a drug? Even alcoholics who know that alcohol is a problem often have the foresight to telephone a friend, saying, "I have the urge to go out to a bar now!" I haven't seen love addicts call for help, complaining, "Help! She is taking years off my life, giving that wonderful feeling again!" Is it because love is the ultimate drug? Perhaps it is, since they found out, even centuries ago, that humans (and many higher animals) are absolutely dependent on such emotions. That is, socialogists, psychiatrists and biologists can affirm that the positive emotion of love is absolutely essential for survival. People even conducted awful experiments in the past to prove it. One is commonly known as the "Forbidden Experiment". In the early 13th century, clerical scholars were debating which was the "natural language of mankind". Some argued it was language of Jesus Christ, Hebrew, while others argued it was Greek, and still others insisted it was Latin. No one knew what kind of language a person would speak without being taught that language by their parents. Frederick II the Staufer, the Holy Roman Emperor was interested very much in the science of the day, and ordered an experiment to be conducted. He had orphans brought to a remote village, which was far away from any other town or village. It was tended by nannys, nursemaids and soldiers, and instructed not to speak or interact with any of the children on pain of  death. The children's basic needs of food, clothing and shelter were met. Unfortunately, Frederick was never able to discover the "natural language of mankind" because all of the children died before the age of five - and not from sickness or pestilence. As a monk of the time,  Salimbene di Adam recorded in his Chronicles, who wrote that Frederick bade "foster-mothers and nurses to suckle and bathe and wash the children, but in no ways to prattle or speak with them; for he would have learnt whether they would speak the Hebrew language (which had been the first), or Greek, or Latin, or Arabic, or perchance the tongue of their parents of whom they had been born. But he laboured in vain, for the children could not live without clappings of the hands, and gestures, and gladness of countenance, and blandishments."In other words, the children died from lack of love. Where they all love addicts? Or is this basic emotion necessary to keep our sanity intact? With that thought, I gave up the notion that love is a horrid addiction I must be cured of whenever I feel heartbreak, frustration, unhappiness and disappointment. Forsaking all relationships in order to avoid that disappointment is the most certain way to lose my sanity. Instead I will learn to accept that heartbreak, frustration, unhappiness and disappointment are as much a part of life and my humanity as falling in love, joy, happiness and satisfaction. Recovery means finding the balance and the courage to continue and dare something new - it does not mean to learn to avoid love at all costs.