Is it the World or is it ME!

I went to camp and ride horse's this weekend. I have three horses and a very nice trailer to stay in. That I am very blessed with. This horse camp is in my county so that is another blessing. I had a accident and cracked my pelvic bone last fall so I have even bought a gel pad to ride on. (was not cheap). Anyway for some reason I do not fit at my beloved horse camp anymore. With out all the details...it was a awful experience. Sunday I was so up tight with all the things around me, I yelled at the guy riding with me and I just felt like I am a loser. No balance for some reason. I have let myself get very overweight, depressed, smoking again and sleeping all the time. Well now the only fun I have had in the last five years is a poop hole for me. Just makes me want to sell all the horse stuff and move to a cave. All the women now drink like it is 1999....act stupid....and hate me. I feel like I am in high school.....just another let down.
 
C