Is it possible.....
Is it possible to still feel a broken heart long long after the break up? I know with my grandfather's death in 1992, I am still sad but a friendship break up is different but are the feelings alike.
These days I'm thinking Facebook is a curse. A friend of mine and I had a mutual friend in the 90s. This guy and I had a friendship beyond platonic but we were not a couple. The friendship nearly destroyed me - back then I had no idea about being a highly sensitive person and self awareness and management. He couldn't take it and dumped me. A year later he said to keep in touch, and I so blindly did until his new lady was very vicious and tore a thick emotional strip off at me. A few years later, I meet up with this guy's brother who profusely apologized for his brother and told me that he married Atilla the Hun and was extremely controlling and she refused to let the brothers spend time together.
Fast forward to sunday night, when I got a message from my friend. Well if that didn't trigger buried and repressed memories and feelings. I have been in an emotional back spin for a few days just praying to God that the feeling will pass. My friend gave me the update on how he is doing and that just killed me.
I could tell her that I don't want to hear about him but that just may come across as a grudge. I fear ever hearing from this guy again and I know that is being unrealistic cause he won't.
I feel my past anger bubble up and I feel like yelling...how could he "lead me on" with keeping in touch and get traumatized by his wife?
Repressed feelings come to the surface and the flood gates have been smashed open over the dam collapsing into nothingness. All the memories come back in detail and it is clear as day. It is almost like reliving the nightmare over again. Wisdoms now tells me that it is now time to come to terms with things and to release the negative energy away from my energy/body. It is time to make peace with this wounded part of me.
Thank you for listening. I tried explaining this to my partner but he doesn't understand and thinks I should get over it. I could discuss it with my friend but she is not that close to me to open up.
These days I'm thinking Facebook is a curse. A friend of mine and I had a mutual friend in the 90s. This guy and I had a friendship beyond platonic but we were not a couple. The friendship nearly destroyed me - back then I had no idea about being a highly sensitive person and self awareness and management. He couldn't take it and dumped me. A year later he said to keep in touch, and I so blindly did until his new lady was very vicious and tore a thick emotional strip off at me. A few years later, I meet up with this guy's brother who profusely apologized for his brother and told me that he married Atilla the Hun and was extremely controlling and she refused to let the brothers spend time together.
Fast forward to sunday night, when I got a message from my friend. Well if that didn't trigger buried and repressed memories and feelings. I have been in an emotional back spin for a few days just praying to God that the feeling will pass. My friend gave me the update on how he is doing and that just killed me.
I could tell her that I don't want to hear about him but that just may come across as a grudge. I fear ever hearing from this guy again and I know that is being unrealistic cause he won't.
I feel my past anger bubble up and I feel like yelling...how could he "lead me on" with keeping in touch and get traumatized by his wife?
Repressed feelings come to the surface and the flood gates have been smashed open over the dam collapsing into nothingness. All the memories come back in detail and it is clear as day. It is almost like reliving the nightmare over again. Wisdoms now tells me that it is now time to come to terms with things and to release the negative energy away from my energy/body. It is time to make peace with this wounded part of me.
Thank you for listening. I tried explaining this to my partner but he doesn't understand and thinks I should get over it. I could discuss it with my friend but she is not that close to me to open up.
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