Is it just ME????

Sometimes I feel like I'm tossed between two people...two people that I truly love, but I don't know if I'm right or am I wrong in my thinking.  I know that I care too much, okay, I get that...I completely understand that, I love my son more than anything...can it be too much love that I'm not making the right decisions for him???  Have I spoiled him so much so that I don't realize what the boundaries should be??  I mean, I thought that I was raising him right...but I keep second guessing what I decide on because I'm not hard enough...but it seems like he just picks apart everything my son does.  I wonder if he was his biological child, would he pick him apart just the same, or is it because he just doesn't like him?  So, if he was a straight-A student, cleaned up his room and the house constantly, took out the trash...everything, would he still find something wrong with him?  Would he then want to be in the same room and not seemingly be in some type of mood when he's around or IS IT JUST ME???  Am I just imagining things because my child isn't the best child ever?   He's not like his daughter...he's not perfect.  He's not clean, he's lazy and admits it, he only does things when you ask...and not always completely, he isn't getting the greatest grades now and I get that, but he's 17 now...do I continue punishing him for what he's continued to slip in, should I?  I mean he should still follow the rules...that's a given, but what is right, what is wrong?  I only have one child and I want to make sure that I'm doing it correctly, because this is my ONLY opportunity, I don't think I'll have anymore (and I think I understand why God isn't blessing us with a child of our own--not that he truly wants one) but I'm not so sure that's what I'm doing anymore...I'm so confused...I'm even questioning his true happiness with me, I mean...is he happy with ME or is it convenience at this point...is it for comfort...I mean I wonder how happy he is with me other than us sleeping together, what else does he love about ME, my child??  my love of animals???  When I've asked the question, he can't even answer it, so what DOES he love about me.  I feel like I'm frustrating to him...or  IS IT JUST ME?!