Is it ever going to be ok

I just wonder is it ever going to be ok? I miss Pat so much I just want to scream! Trying to take care of the finances and my 2 kids (although one is 22 but slightly autistic)The other one (Daughter)is 15 and as anybody who has a teen know's they can be a pain,she has her boyfriend and friend's on her mind 24/7.She misses her dad but tries to block it out.Today we found out that my father in law has to have a triple bypass,but,they say all will be ok with that.It's hard for me to believe that cause my husband was 47 and dropped dead while talking to the dr at the er of a massive heart attack.I hope he will be ok but hard to trust anything when it comes to the heart.I really hate this life without my Pat,thing's have changed so muchand it's hard to get use to. I use to not worry that much about money but now it's on my mind alot,I find myself turning off lights and turning down the heat and planning trips to town,I never worried about any of that before.Is it ever going to get better or am I doomed to live my life this way?