Is it even a crime

is it even a crime if you can't report it? did it even happen if you can't remember all the details? important ones, like who did it, when, where and even what? these are questions that i'm lacking. i don't remember who raped me, i don't remember where he lives, i don't even remember all what happened. at times i think i almost remember his face but have no name to go with it. i can't even report what happened to me bcz i dont have these details. all i can say is I Was Raped. some days that is enough, some days it's hard to even concieve that something that horrible happened to me and yet i can't remember any of it. i know that is the purpose of using the GHB but its still hard to come to terms with it. the few people being 2(besides this sight of course) that i have told this to have believed me even tho that was my biggest fear and still is. i have no proof, i have no suspect, i have very little memory of it. some days it drives me crazy, some days i don't even let myself think of it. most days another little piece of my soul dies as i think about it. your parents always tell you "don't get in cars with stangers, they could take you and do horrible things to you" and you always think "it can't happen to you" and now i'm a cationary tail about meeting a guy off line and letting him in my car without knowing him, and he did take me and do horrible things. i had met numerous guys off AOL and none of them had harmed me. so why would i think this one would be any different. the saying "it only takes one" comes to mind now. i'm stuck with so many if only's. if only after we got lost me and her just went home. if only the cop took both of us with him. if only i didn't go with him alone. if only i didn't accept that opened drink from him. if only i never agreed to meet him in the first place. if only i listened to my parents. if only. then there is the question. am i luckier than most? is it better to not have the full memory of it to play over and over again, is it better to not be haunted by his face, is it better that i only remember little pieces? is there even such a thing as being luckier than someone that was raped and survived?  most people say their first time hurts and i always wondered why mine didn't. bcz it wasn't my first time. i've considered doing therapy and being hypnotized to see what memories they could bring to the surface. but i'm not sure i want the answers to the questions i have.