Is it all hopeless?

It’s hard to be alone. To live your life on the sidelines while everyone around you is moving onto happier things. Getting married, having children, creating a family. I’m 28 years old and what do I have to show for my years? 5 cats, about $25,000 in debt thanks to HECS fees that were for uni (useless since I didn’t actually complete the term), and a crapload of broken dreams, lost chances and missed opportunities.
When I was little all I ever wanted to do was write. I wrote some stupid child’s poem about love, and some silly novel about my dogs in a world where they could talk, fighting crime: kicking ass and taking names. I had so many hopes. I was so optimistic about life. I was going to be a vet or a lawyer or some amazing job. I was going to get married at 18 to the love of my life, and he’d love me more than life myself. I was going to be a singer, a musician, an artist… I was going to be SOMEONE.
But here I am, 28, no job, no love, no success, nothing. Instead of being SOMEONE I’ve become NOONE.
My mum used to tell me this story about how my life was saved twice. Once by my older brother, Peter, and once by Peter’s dog, Tinker. I used to listen and smile at those stories. Now I just sit here and wonder why. Why the hell was I saved? What the hell for? Can someone please answer me that? What the hell have I done to deserve life? What have I ever offered the world or anyone in it?
I’m sorry that this entry is so down. I’m trying to stay upbeat and positive. I just… don’t know if I have any hope anymore. I used to think things could change but I don’t know anymore. Maybe I’m beyond saving.
I think it’s time to call it a night. Take my meds, take a sleeping tablet and do it all again tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow will be brighter. I’m sure it will. 
Night all.
 
P.S. DS needs more themes or at least a place to enter our own.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey, Sis, I can really relate to what you are feeling; however, your temporary body has an eternal soul. God saves each tear you shed, his heart breaks when you suffer from emotional pain, and your prayers rise up to Him like a sweet incense. Let me show you your future as a believer in Christ:
Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

That one passage gives me hope for the rest of my days here on earth. Lastly, please don\'t forget that you are so young (only lived one-quarter of your life), you have all the time in the world to follow your dreams, but start by taking small steps every day. Did you know most famous and successful people fail to reach their goals until mid/late life? There will never be another you. Be good to yourself, keep reaching out to others, and start doing what you love today :)