Is he just relieved that it\'s almost over?
I've had several conversations with my stbx today and he talks to me like I'm his friend. First I called him to find out about buying some bulk items from Sam's Club because of his layoff. We agreed that I should stock up on staples that will last more than a couple weeks and he's paying for it. He was with his sister and brother-in-law hanging out and sounded happy. Even Lori shouted hello to me from across the room. She's always been a sweetheart. But it was really wierd talking to him like I was still his wife. This was a converstaion we would have had under normal circumstances. I wondered how they could all sound so happy like things were normal but I guess I can't expect his sister and BIL to feel depressed for me when he's her brother. I also asked him if he could give ME some money for myself. He said it depends on how much I spend at Sam's Club, but if it wasn't too much, he could probably give me some. Then later he called me to tell me about the problems he's having with an old friend, Toom, who turned against him last year and he told me all about it. Toom is a hunter (like my husband) and has stolen 2 of my stbx tree stands from the hunting property where he leaves them. This is private property and Toom talked to the owner, who knows nothing, and convinced him that these stands were his and took them. My stbx was totally pissed off, as he should be. Later on, he stopped by the condo to give me a blank check (yes I said blank check) to Sam's Club and he handed me $40 for myself. I thought that was pretty nice of him. He hasn't given me any money for myself for months. I know, I know, he's living high on the hog and going hunting for a full week and that's not free, but I was happy to have the $40. While he was here at the condo, he continued to tell me even more of the BS that Toom is causing. My stbx leaves for Ohio tomorrow to hunt for a week and Toom is planning on going to the same hunting ground. They used to hunt these properties together. I'm actually afraid for my stbx. Toom seems like a loose cannon right now and I told my stbx to be very careful and watchful. You just never know. Anyway, our conversations today were just like what we used to have when we were together. Wierd huh. I'm wondering if it's because I told him that I signed the divorce decree and he's just plain relieved that it's almost over so he feels more free to talk to me. I think he thinks because I signed them, I've moved on. Little does he know. The truth is I was fine even after all these conversations with him today. I didn't even read anything into them like I would have 2 weeks ago. Just a little while ago I would have thought that because he's talking to me so nice and sharing his problems with me that maybe there's still hope. I didn't even think that this time. I guess I'm making progress. I feel that I've truly accepted that our marriage will end in divorce and although it's still not what I've wanted from the start, I've accepted it. Oh and the Red Wing hockey game I asked him to go to with me on Nov 17, I invited my daughter to go with me instead. He'll just have to sit and watch it at home and think, "damn, I could've been at that game, center ice". Too bad, so sad. :)
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I really don\'t know what to say. Gather ye rose buds while ye may? I\'m really happy for you - if you\'re happy. No emotion? God bless you all. I hope that things continue this way for you and your family. If you have accepted this situation and he is agreeing to taking care of you and his family in the process - that\'s just wonderful. Good luck to you, Chrissy. I wish you all the best. Big hugs & LOL
I feel the same way when mine talks to me like nothing is different. I dont get it. His mother also talks to me like nothing has changed. Even though I call her. She continues to say I will always be part of the family. His sisters said so too but I have not talked to them since this first happened. I imagine that talking to his family and him will eventually stop esp after the divorce does come about. I hope to get where you are that after a conversation I will feel nothing. I really want to feel nothing when I talk or even think about him. I want him to be like the song says \"you are only someome I used to love\". Glad you are starting to do this.
That\'s good that you didn\'t have any emotion talking to the stbx. It takes time. Hugs.