is everyone pregnant?
It seems more and more women here at DS and everywhere else are pregnant. No offense ladies i honestly am proud of you for having the courage to try again and i pray for you and i just know your babies will be healthy and happy but i'm starting to feel left behind.
I see all your posting to each other about rainbow babies and how anxious you all are about their health and its scary. with God's grace your babies will be perfect but everyday i think about it and i get more convinced that i can never allow myself to go through that again. And then i try to convince myself to try again. Crazy? possibly.
Everyone else in the world is pregnant and i'm just stuck sitting here thinking about my options and not doing anything. I don't know anymore. My bf still does not talk about Sophia ever and so that restricts my ability to talk about her... its like the forbidden subject the room gets all quiet and its like i just said the most awful thing.
How can we ever get to the point where we could try again for our next baby if we can't even talk about Sophia at all. Don't we have to work through this first? I cannot face another pregnancy if i was to be alone in it. I feel like its easier for him to distance himself than it is for him to feel all those emotions cause he was raised by men who always told him its unattractive for men to have feelings or cry so he's like a damn brick wall sometimes.
So i know that when and if i get pregnant again i will most likely be trying to soothe his anxieties and my own constantly and at the same time not be able to talk about my fears because it would increase his. Ok, maybe i'm being a little over-the-top but i'm kind of venting and how am i supposed to know how he would handle a second pregnancy if he can't even talk about our first one?
I guess he needs more time. Actually, i know he does. But i still wish i could push him into it and just make him believe that the next baby will be fine. But i can't bring myself to do that because i need his support to make it through our next pregnancy.
Once again i'm stuck and i don't know what to do. But i wish i had my Sophia with me and i wish i had never heard the word "stillbirth". Back to studying, will write later.
I see all your posting to each other about rainbow babies and how anxious you all are about their health and its scary. with God's grace your babies will be perfect but everyday i think about it and i get more convinced that i can never allow myself to go through that again. And then i try to convince myself to try again. Crazy? possibly.
Everyone else in the world is pregnant and i'm just stuck sitting here thinking about my options and not doing anything. I don't know anymore. My bf still does not talk about Sophia ever and so that restricts my ability to talk about her... its like the forbidden subject the room gets all quiet and its like i just said the most awful thing.
How can we ever get to the point where we could try again for our next baby if we can't even talk about Sophia at all. Don't we have to work through this first? I cannot face another pregnancy if i was to be alone in it. I feel like its easier for him to distance himself than it is for him to feel all those emotions cause he was raised by men who always told him its unattractive for men to have feelings or cry so he's like a damn brick wall sometimes.
So i know that when and if i get pregnant again i will most likely be trying to soothe his anxieties and my own constantly and at the same time not be able to talk about my fears because it would increase his. Ok, maybe i'm being a little over-the-top but i'm kind of venting and how am i supposed to know how he would handle a second pregnancy if he can't even talk about our first one?
I guess he needs more time. Actually, i know he does. But i still wish i could push him into it and just make him believe that the next baby will be fine. But i can't bring myself to do that because i need his support to make it through our next pregnancy.
Once again i'm stuck and i don't know what to do. But i wish i had my Sophia with me and i wish i had never heard the word "stillbirth". Back to studying, will write later.
Replies