Is autopilot okay
I'm awake working at my gas station listening 80s rock. I have a party I'm going to tonight. Not sure if many people will engage me there I'm not much of a conversationalist. Never have been. I grew up confused not understanding what the hell people were saying. I think it was Aphasia. I had a botched MMR shot when I was a kid. I also have an improv thing I'm going to next week. It's only one class it's supposed to come in a package with three more classes I wouldn't be able to make the rest of them but I asked them to lete know if any more openings come up. It's probably a good thing I don't work as a CNA anymore I was ready to crack since they cut their budget and their help. I feel sorry for the residents there. This gas station will get me by, I may have to do gig work on the side sometime. But for right now I don't want to much crap crowding upy life. I don't want to be lazy but I don't want to be extremely busy either. I feel I've got a lot to digest alot of shit that I'm going to come to terms to... My mom probably only has five years left she has COPD, I'm probably stuck in dead end job for the rest of my life ( out of school money). There's nothing wrong with being poor I just don't want to be on the verge of homeless for the rest of my life. My best friend wants us to be by Canada in case war breaks out but he claims it's a little expensive to live there? I've found some rooms to rent that didn't look too expensive in Maine. But it would be nice to have my own place. Sometimes I think I ask too much out of life. I can only do so muchÂ
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I don't think you are asking too much, you are "creating, thinking, and dreaming" of what you'd like your life to become. I'm so glad to read that you are getting out, working at a job that is not too stressful, and have a friend you can talk with who understands you.
Huge Kudo's for getting yourself to a party, and improv...I'm so isolated I don't think I'd know what to say to anyone....just smile from a corner.
Wondering if you have looked into dept. labor/Welcome to Bureau of Rehabilitation Services - CT.gov...I'm in CT, look up for your state...since you have a disability, were cut from a job with skills, you might qualify for 'free' education/training. I did and got two years at college paid for after having back surgery.
Enjoy your day, busy weekend for cars and traveling!!
I think autopilot is okay if we set a time limit on it. It is okay to take an easy job after having a back breaking one. Your best friend sounds like he is worried about a war breaking out, huh. It can be very expensive to live in Canada just like certain parts of the USA are expensive. You can think about where you might want to live and what kind of work you might want to do. Health care work is always stressful and physically demanding but it is something that people appreciate and it is giving love and good care to others who can't do for themselves. One thing to look at is jobs and cost of living where ever you want to move. Some states have a very high cost of living while jobs don't pay more. But you have time to do this research or just rest your mind for a while. And be careful as some of these online rental ads are scams. You pay the money and there is no real place for rent, the landlord isn't real, so are out your deposit. This just happened to someone I know.
My young relative worked only back breaking low paid jobs for a long time even with good education. They had so much stress and unhappiness, and finally had a mental breakdown, but it nudged them into mental health treatment. Medication really made a difference for this person. This relative is now working successfully at their best job ever. Well thought of employee, given raises.
No shame in seeking the help we need so we can lead a happy enough and functional life. No shame in taking time to think through various things in our lives and what our future goals are.
Thank you guys!!