introduction to me

i am a lost soal not knowing which way to go. as i go longer i keep finding new reason why i should die. and less reasons to live. my uncle and a good friend of mine died two years ago from suicide , and most of the time i wish i could join them and curse the ones who keep me here ... but knowing there is a reason why im here cuz i almost died how many times through life so far and not died yet so there has to be a reason ..  but unknown to that reason...