intoxicated, and do you ever feel like...
Intoxicated with the thought of laying next to you...being with you. It's over powering...feelings...that i'm not sure of what they mean or if they are real. Infactuation? It's wrong but it feels so right with you, and only you. I hate to think that I won't let myself go there...to feel that way about someone. It's too much risk....to put it out there...and even more so to feel it. I haven't felt this way in a LONG time....but I still dont' know what it means. I wish I knew how you felt and your your intensions. My intensions feel so scattered and possible too selfish. I hate being volunerable around you like how you feel could change my heart about a lot of things.I'm not sure why but I almost feel like I don't live up to your standards eventho I dont think you really feel that way. I dunno what to think or feel...im just lost...wish i could get it settled in my mind.Ever feel like you got lost somehow? Like you didn't even realizing you were changing until you notice a deep shift in your heart? I know that prob doesn't make sence but thats the only way i can picture it in my mind. You know who you were tought to be, but is that really who you are? Ever branch off to find why you believe what you do and end up finding that nothing makes scence and you don't know why you believe what you believe? You start to realize that your turning into everyone else around you....and not yourself....you act like nothing is wrong but deep down you know thats not who you want to be. I know this should seem to be the easiest thing in the world...to be yourself....but i think it's the hardest. Not that you are afraid to be yourself persay, but it just never seems to fit into your surroundings. You almost feel fake and ungenuine despite the fact that that couldn't be further from the truth....You know everything is okay and your fine but this deep passion to want to show my true colors is captured inside of me...like i dont trust anyone to see that part of me....i really need to get over that....
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