Internal Medicine Doctor Appointment

I don't know what to think about my appt yesterday. I wasn't overly impressed. He seems like my doctor and poo poos chronic fatigue syndrome...said the "jury is still out on that" and then he proceeded to tell me doctor's don't prescribe gabapentin for anxiety which my pdoc has. Then when I said I requested to see a rhuematologist he kinda laughed and looked at his intern. They are running more blood work to rule out other stuff....although I don't know what stuff and I see him again in two weeks. His intern was leaning towards the fibro diagnosis. So I guess I won't know anymore until then. They did recommend my pdoc put me back on Cymbalta and that I should try Lyrica instead of gabapentin. So will see what pdoc has to say on Friday. I just feel so fucking frustrated and tired. I am having more days of feeling suicidal. I just feel like I can't keep living in this pain day in and day out. He also said it's not normal for fibro to be worse in the summer but I have read some people are worse in the humid days. The cooler days do seem to have less pain for me but not completely gone. I know I need to reduce stress because it makes it flare but I don't see how I can do that right now with the situation I am in.
I am also pissed at my family doctor because she didn't even refer me to the internal medicine doctor I requested who is supposed to be really good and understanding of fibromyalgia. I may just tell her I want to see him anyway...I know she'll probably say no. What is it with these fucking doctors. They act like other people, if they can't see it with the naked eye they think it doesn't exist?
I wish I could afford to go to Toronto Ontario to a really good doctor named Alison Bested who wrote a great book I have called:Hope and Help for Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia
I really wish I could go see her but it is so far away and she also does "courses" for people who suffer and how to pace yourself and feel better. I've read some of the book and want to read it all but some of it is pretty detailed and for me gets a bit confusing.
I really like what a woman wrote on a message board for Dr. Oz after his show on fibromyalgia last week; she says:

“Finally! Tired of people acting like this is some fake made up disease as an excuse for people to be lazy. Because let’s face it, what human being would enjoy being in horrible pain, always on the brink of collapse from exhaustion, and never getting to do what they love anymore? C'mon people, who would choose that for themselves? People just don't get that it's something we can't control and all the diet and exercise in the world won't "cure" it (maybe lessen some symptoms but not make it go away completely)! It's hard being in the "prime" of your life when you should be full of zest and energy, yet you are confined to the body of what feels like an 80 yr old woman. People think you're boring because you’re in bed by 9pm on Friday nights when if you had the energy you'd love to join and be a part of the action but you just can't! I'm lucky I can make it to that late without falling asleep standing up! Thanks Dr. Oz for acknowledging the Fibromyalgia-troopers who put up with horrible disease, or sometimes even worse criticism every day!”