Interesting meeting with my ex
Well my ex just left my house, we decided to sit down with our daughter and get her graduation package figured out and filled out..cap, gown, announcements, etc etc...and overall it went ok. One thing I realized is she is not who I've been pining over. Ive been stuck some days but I think that's over the gal she used to be...we met almost 25 years ago..just talking to her and seeing her again I realize she's a different person. We are both approaching 50 now, and while we got along fine, I think it just kind of reminded me how and why the whole thing went south. I kind of realized I've definitely had her on a pedestal the last 8 months, remembering all the great times but those are in my past. I was fine tonight just dealing with our daughters graduation stuff and what not. We have definitely grown apart though but we both share a hell of a lot of history together. Maybe we can be friends eventually, at least we were friendly. But I'm taking that whole idea pretty slow.
Anyways I ended things with the gal I've been seeing and talking to. For me it just wasn't clicking, and I'm in no hurry to force shit. I told her as much and wished her well. I think she wanted more but better to be honest. I just wasn't feeling the connection lately, she lived an hour away and it started seeming like a chore to drive down there...I'm gonna embrace being single for awhile, I know for a fact I do not want a full blown relationship. Maybe 8 months isn't long enough after 24 years. But I know I don't want a totally committed relationship. I thought I did but I don't lol. I'm gonna chill and hang with my daughter and get her through high school. We'll go from there.
Good night all, thanks for everyone's support you guys are awesome :)
Anyways I ended things with the gal I've been seeing and talking to. For me it just wasn't clicking, and I'm in no hurry to force shit. I told her as much and wished her well. I think she wanted more but better to be honest. I just wasn't feeling the connection lately, she lived an hour away and it started seeming like a chore to drive down there...I'm gonna embrace being single for awhile, I know for a fact I do not want a full blown relationship. Maybe 8 months isn't long enough after 24 years. But I know I don't want a totally committed relationship. I thought I did but I don't lol. I'm gonna chill and hang with my daughter and get her through high school. We'll go from there.
Good night all, thanks for everyone's support you guys are awesome :)
Replies
Good for you for recognizing what you want and need. I\'m glad getting together with your ex wasn\'t too traumatic.
Not sure if the first or second paragraph is best. Both read really well. Congrats kb, you\'re coming along!
Isn\'t is amazing how time puts so many things in perspective? It has been a long road, but you are doing so well. Keep it up, Coop. You are an inspiration. Stay strong.
Coop! What a great post. I think it\'s so interesting how you are seeing her differently. I can\'t wait until I get to that point.
I was the same way when it came to dating..I thought I wanted something now..but I really don\'t. Not for real. I just want to enjoy life and friends and not have to worry about someone else. Baby steps.
We are making progress! :-)
Thanks everyone for your comments, great to get feedback.
Sounds like a good turning point for you. A bit of a reality check. You saw her for who she is and not the fantasy you have been building in your head for awhile. It\'s great that you are able to get along like that. I bet with more time, you\'ll be able to be friends without the pain. That will be great for your daughter\'s sake as well. And I think it\'s admirable that you told the new girl that things weren\'t working and were respectful about it. 8 months is probably a bit too soon after such a long relationship. I\'ve always gone at least a year between relationships before I felt like trying again and my relationships have been very short lived. It takes time to heal and find yourself. There\'s a lot of reflection to do after a relationship ends. The people who bounce from one relationship to another are attempting to skip that reflection and never learn about themselves and want to avoid all the uncomfortable feelings, which never results in a healthy situation. You are on the right track.
It\'s nice to see that you are not going to rebound into another relationship just for the sake of not being alone and that you are okay with being single for awhile. My ex went right into another relationship after being with me for 12 yrs and it hurt me pretty bad. I guess some people just can\'t be alone! Good for you though!
I am so proud of you.
Yikes! It cut me off and I wasn\'t finished..lol
I remember in the beginning how you were and now you are doing so much better. Take this time for yourself and enjoy the time with your Daughter. You sound so much better. I am happy for you. So proud that you are doing so much better.
What a great place to be in. Thank you for sharing. I have been having feelings of wanting to date mostly just to go out and have some fun, but I know I couldn\'t entertain the idea of having any deep feelings right now. Hearing your experience puts things in perspective. Thank you.