Interesting, confusing, and frustrated
Okay - every now and then I read past entries I made one and two years ago at this time - just to see where "we" were. It helps me. Based on the last years T has made remarkable progress regarding drugs. As far as I can tell, he really is obviously sober. T's addiction behavior rapidly became a problem in a very short period of time. He could not hide it. J? Well - I looked at my journal dated August 22, 007 and that was written the day after his arrest for possession two days before college. A year later - I took his phone away. He must have had behavior to cause me to do and I saw the word heroin. This year is pain meds. Any improvement here? Well, last semester he received a A's. He's been playing sports, been pleasant, doing chores around the house, is reffing soccer, and goes to the museum. It's confusing. If he has "crossed the line" his dependence journey is much slower than T's. I know it does depend on the age (J started using after high school) and it depends on what the drug choices are. Last night he came home happy again. What is wrong with ME? LOL My son is happy and I'm concerned? Sounds strange, doesn't it?
Replies
No, because not only do you have entries in 07 but also the summer of \'08; it\'s hard to know what is going on much less trust him. I guess the question is do you live in the moment and wait until it falls apart or do you keep the mom radar fully operational...because it is more that all about J? Take Care!!!!
No, not at all. Drugs make people happy especially in the beginning because they haven\'t really lost anything tangible to them and they are numbing all their pain/misery/discomfort, etc. I like what penpal said re the Mom radar because this really is about you and where you want to be right now. J. is going to take whatever path he walks irregardless of whether you worry or not. I know you are in a really hard place right now but remember whatever you choose to do, even if it\'s to just live in today and not worry about J and drugs unless and until they present themselves to you and become a problem for J, there is no wrong and that your choice will be okay and right. Love to you, Dorothy
Nothing is wrong with you!... I think alot of times when we are always struggling and THEN things look okay... we can\'t get comfortable, I think because in the back of our mind we\'re waiting for the other shoe to fall off.
How true this is, waiting for the other shoe to fall!! Keep up the radar. He is still in your home and the lives of your family. T. is still vulnerable, but is handling this pretty darn good for an 18 yr old! J. will continue to see himself as the \"second son\" . He\'s got what he needs to succeed in life, but definitely needs outside help to \"shake him up\" and guess that\'s your job Mgs! You are doing a great job in handling all this!