Insomnia, my new nickname, cold lady fingers, crazy new events
First off, it 4:09 am and I am awake? Why you may ask? I do not know. I would love to be asleep, in my warm bed, with my hubby. I tried to go to sleep around 10 pm, no luck. Instead of tossing and turning on the off chance that I wake my hubby, I got out of bed and decided how I was going to spend our tax returns and our insurance refund. He needs his sleep to go to work in the morning, but he rolled over and I wasn't there and came to find me. He loved my ideas. Paying off his truck, his baby next to me. Getting all of the parts that he needs to finish this said baby of his, which I searched for the best prices on the internet and found them :) . Paying off half of the only credit card that we have that we used for 6 tires on this aforementioned baby, did I mention that it's a 4WD duely? Paying off our personal loans and taking the dogs in to be groomed. With all the money that I saved us ordering the parts online, we will even have enough money left over to move into a new home if needed as our landlord and home owner are slumlords and I refuse to live in a home that is mo longer inhabitable.
Surprisingly I am still upbeat at 4:24 am. After a bit of discussion of the funds and 30 min cleaning up my bathroom floor because for no reason, my toilet and tub decided to back up into my bathroom. Yea Me! Did I mention that my home is no longer inhabitable? At 12:45 am, we return to bed. I try to lie there still as can be so as my hubby can get some much needed sleep. My right leg twitches, then my right shoulder. Followed by my left side, my neck, my right AND left hands, my feet, my left leg, and then it spastically begin again in no uncertain order. My hubby is asleep, I know he is asleep because he only half snores when he IS asleep. He rolls over to put his arm around me (pause for an AHHH), and says, "Your at it again Twitch!" Now, I know that he knows that this is all uncontrollable, but he only laughs at me because I laugh at myself. Hence, I have a new nickname. Sorry Twitch, I guess I will be calling you Jason from now on. I guess I didn't have to marry you like I wanted too when we were kids to be called Twitch. I earned it on my own! Hahahaha!
Cold lady fingers. No it is not a new dessert, however that does sound good. Lady fingers with vanilla ice cream on top of them. YUMMMM! Back to my original statement, if I could get my fingers to type correctly and not put all of the correct letters into the words, but putting them into the correct order, that might happen :) . Cold lady fingers are what I have been experiencing for weeks now. My hands are always cold and shaking. Then they get the added twitch. About 10 twitches every hour, and that is in just my hands. I cannot feel much of anything anymore either. So when I say that you cannot pry my phone away from my cold dead fingers, I AM telling you the truth.
As far as the crazy new events, I'm drawing a blank. With my body so spastic, most things are crazy. I sometimes cannot move my legs properly, to which I tend to fall. Nothing too serious there. I just wait till my legs feel better and I get up, laugh it off, and go on with what I was doing. I'm very wobbly, weak, and feel hungover 24-7 and I don't drink. I do know what a hangover feels like and I remember them well. 7 years of being an alcoholic, not long compared to some, but long enough for me to know that I feel hungover at this moment and most others. I haven't drank since 2008 and up until about a month ago, I was really glad that I had left the hangovers behind me. Life just said to me, "Hahahaha Just Kidding!" I don't sleep much anymore, I haven't really slept a lot since April 30, 2012. The first few months I attribute to the stress of finding out what was to happen to my body and the fear of the syrinx and syringomyelia. After that it was either the meds, the twitching and shaking all of the time, or a combination of both. I'll choose C as my best answer, Bob. My mind nor my brain is no longer. Unbeknownst to most, they are separate. The brain is the physical organ, in which the electronic impulses that create thought are contained. With the brain you coordinate your moves, your organism, your activities and transmit impulses. But you use the mind to think. You can muse at what happened, what is scheduled and what maybe will happen.The mind is the manifestations of thought, perception, emotion, determination, memory and imagination that takes place within the brain. Mind is often used to refer especially to the thought processes of reason. The mind is the awareness of consciousness we know, the ability to control what we do, and know what we are doing and why. It is the ability to understand. And, they both, my brain and my mind are having deficiencies. I cannot remember things, people, places or events that I know I knew of. Long term is just fine. My brain cannot control the nerves nor the nerve impulses that control my body. I'm 33 and need to use a cane some days. I'm sure that looks pretty funny to others, and I do see the humor in it. I look just fine as I get out of the drivers seat of my truck, pretty decent on the days I actually go somewhere, as I hang my handicapped placard on my mirror and grab my cane and purse to go into the store and get a motorized cart so I can make it through the store without an incredible amount of pain. But I look healthy, I don't look like I have a handicap. There are more crazy rants and tangents in this mind of mine, however I just cannot think of them at this moment. Oh, and it's now 5:14 am.
Surprisingly I am still upbeat at 4:24 am. After a bit of discussion of the funds and 30 min cleaning up my bathroom floor because for no reason, my toilet and tub decided to back up into my bathroom. Yea Me! Did I mention that my home is no longer inhabitable? At 12:45 am, we return to bed. I try to lie there still as can be so as my hubby can get some much needed sleep. My right leg twitches, then my right shoulder. Followed by my left side, my neck, my right AND left hands, my feet, my left leg, and then it spastically begin again in no uncertain order. My hubby is asleep, I know he is asleep because he only half snores when he IS asleep. He rolls over to put his arm around me (pause for an AHHH), and says, "Your at it again Twitch!" Now, I know that he knows that this is all uncontrollable, but he only laughs at me because I laugh at myself. Hence, I have a new nickname. Sorry Twitch, I guess I will be calling you Jason from now on. I guess I didn't have to marry you like I wanted too when we were kids to be called Twitch. I earned it on my own! Hahahaha!
Cold lady fingers. No it is not a new dessert, however that does sound good. Lady fingers with vanilla ice cream on top of them. YUMMMM! Back to my original statement, if I could get my fingers to type correctly and not put all of the correct letters into the words, but putting them into the correct order, that might happen :) . Cold lady fingers are what I have been experiencing for weeks now. My hands are always cold and shaking. Then they get the added twitch. About 10 twitches every hour, and that is in just my hands. I cannot feel much of anything anymore either. So when I say that you cannot pry my phone away from my cold dead fingers, I AM telling you the truth.
As far as the crazy new events, I'm drawing a blank. With my body so spastic, most things are crazy. I sometimes cannot move my legs properly, to which I tend to fall. Nothing too serious there. I just wait till my legs feel better and I get up, laugh it off, and go on with what I was doing. I'm very wobbly, weak, and feel hungover 24-7 and I don't drink. I do know what a hangover feels like and I remember them well. 7 years of being an alcoholic, not long compared to some, but long enough for me to know that I feel hungover at this moment and most others. I haven't drank since 2008 and up until about a month ago, I was really glad that I had left the hangovers behind me. Life just said to me, "Hahahaha Just Kidding!" I don't sleep much anymore, I haven't really slept a lot since April 30, 2012. The first few months I attribute to the stress of finding out what was to happen to my body and the fear of the syrinx and syringomyelia. After that it was either the meds, the twitching and shaking all of the time, or a combination of both. I'll choose C as my best answer, Bob. My mind nor my brain is no longer. Unbeknownst to most, they are separate. The brain is the physical organ, in which the electronic impulses that create thought are contained. With the brain you coordinate your moves, your organism, your activities and transmit impulses. But you use the mind to think. You can muse at what happened, what is scheduled and what maybe will happen.The mind is the manifestations of thought, perception, emotion, determination, memory and imagination that takes place within the brain. Mind is often used to refer especially to the thought processes of reason. The mind is the awareness of consciousness we know, the ability to control what we do, and know what we are doing and why. It is the ability to understand. And, they both, my brain and my mind are having deficiencies. I cannot remember things, people, places or events that I know I knew of. Long term is just fine. My brain cannot control the nerves nor the nerve impulses that control my body. I'm 33 and need to use a cane some days. I'm sure that looks pretty funny to others, and I do see the humor in it. I look just fine as I get out of the drivers seat of my truck, pretty decent on the days I actually go somewhere, as I hang my handicapped placard on my mirror and grab my cane and purse to go into the store and get a motorized cart so I can make it through the store without an incredible amount of pain. But I look healthy, I don't look like I have a handicap. There are more crazy rants and tangents in this mind of mine, however I just cannot think of them at this moment. Oh, and it's now 5:14 am.
Replies
Been there--done that!
Hope you\'re feeling better soon and can get a good night\'s sleep tonight.