Insomnia, infertility, and surrender.

I am awake, once again unable to sleep.  Had day 13 ultrasound yesterday, didn't look good. Not much happening in those ovaries.  The sadness is slowly creeping in and I feel I could cry at the slightest thing.  But I am continually grateful for being blessed with my son who is now 22 months old.  I worry about my DH and how he is coping with his Cancer.  He doesn't talk much to me about it, but it is there, behind everything we do and everything we say.  He is well, but this out-of-our-control beast keeps us tense and scared and humble.  We see it as a manageable chronic disease, so we can atleast live freely if we keep the right perspective.  reading the quote I have posted on my profile was a good reminder to Surrender.  I needed to see that tonight.  I begin to put my energy into those things I can not control, instead of into what do have the power to change or accomplish.  It reminds me to be grateful of even the simplest things in my life.  So now I will try to go to sleep again, and hope for a better cycle next month, and remission for my DH!