Insomnia
Insomnia again! I think we may be getting snow soon b/c my leg was in spasm last night. Nothing a muscle relaxant can't cure. Still can't sleep, though. I need to arrange my schedule for work, find out where I'll be and on which dates, but I don't know if I'll have a doctor, and I certainly can't go without my medication. I have such an amazing job that allows me to be home most of the time, yet I may lose it b/c one doctor didn't "like" morphine. Oh well, how much energy can I give to them? With hope in my heart I must believe that I'll be with a new, compassionate doc soon. And THEN I can arrange my schedule. If I still have a job. Traveling the world is a job so many writers would grab. Yet as I add photos to my album here, I see that I didn't take a lot of pictures. None of me in San Francisco last year, and very few of my 2009 trips to Europe. The ones I have from the March trip in 2009 are difficult to place. I really need to get them organized. Mike and I had great pics of London in 2008 but I can't find many of them. If I get my life back, I'm going to be more diligent about taking pictures of all these amazing places, and with a camera, not my phone! Wow, 630am Saturday and no sleep yet. It's either gonna be a LONG day or I'llsleep through it. I've got to catch up on my sleep or I'll get sick. Thank God it's Saturday!
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The Oscars have always been MY Superbowl. I\'d plan a week ahead and get all the bad foods we eat on those happy celebration days. But my stomach is in knots over tomorrow\'s appointment. I have to get my medical records and I know 14 year\'s worth will take a long time, but they\'re MY records. So maybe this time tomorrow I\'ll be sleeping happily, but for now I twist and turn, dreading that appointment so much that I wish it was in the am and not the late pm. But then I\'d need a babysitter. My son is so sweet and innocent, and I can tell, even at 21 months, he knows something is wrong with mommy. If I could only shield him from all this. My baby. We waited forever for this angel and now I look at the possibility of being sent back to pre-medication days, the Stone Ages. I\'ve GOT to find a doctor who will treat me with compassion. It\'s my whole life.