Insert Derisive Snort Here
I don't know what the heck my problem is.
We all cope in our own ways. Some people drink or get high. Some people cry. Some people scream and shout. Some people curl up in a ball and sort of hibernate until they can pull their sh*t together. Some people do all of the above and then some. There are a million ways to cope with pain and adversity, and I have no right to judge any one of them wrong, do I?
I remember one of my ways of coping after Huz's affair was to curl up in bed with a nest of blankets and pillows around me and imagine myself in the "womb" of a living tree. How insane is that? I couldn't stand the thought of being touched by a person. All people were liars and out to hurt me. ALL people. But trees... trees were living and nurturing and calm and safe. So I'd stay curled in my nest and envision the slow, sweet sap around me, protecting me, blocking out sight and sound and I'd imagine the outer bark of the tree keeping me safe from anyone and everyone.
So, yeah. There's my bit of crazy for the day...
But yeah... here I sit watching a friend of mine struggle with a situation - not infidelity this time (that I know of??) although 2/4 of "his" kids aren't his. His wife has apparently slipped off the deep end of sanity again. This isn't the first time she's been institutionalized. I'm not sure if she went off her meds or if they stopped working or if sh*t just got too hard or... who knows? She's miserable, though, and he's... well. He's the whackadoodle, IMO.
Yeah. I said it. I'm being a mean B****. And yeah, I'm pretty bitter and angry. Cos rather than focusing on his family (her... their kids, whatever...) he's posting religious tirades everywhere he can blaming her lack of faith on her breakdown. Yeah. It's HER fault because she didn't believe in "their" God (as if they have some exclusive rights on a diety?!) the "right way". SERIOUSLY?
Look. Maybe that's what his inner heart believes. And what do I know for, nuthin - maybe her turning away from faith has caused her to make some immoral choices which then spiraled her into depression. I don't know the particulars. But broadcasting crap like that on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and who knows where else just seems disrespectful to your family and to yourself and to your faith.
What's worse is his doom and gloom, "THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU DON'T WILL YOURSELF TO TURN TO GOD THE WAY I SAY YOU SHOULD." It makes me sick and it makes me angry.
I am all for turning to your faith - in whatever - to get through tough times. You wanna pray? Go for it. You wanna ask others to pray? Do it! You wanna beg, plead, yell, demand of God? Go for it... I won't stop you. You wanna be more pious or more devout to prove your worth to your idea of God? Hey, run with it. But please don't go on this weird "if you don't join it, you're doomed, too!" Cos that's just crap. Bad stuff is happening to YOU, not to ME. And the bad stuff that DID happen to me, well, that's because of poor choices I and the people around me made, not because some higher power was pissed cos I didn't do this or I did say that.
I know, I know. I'm being stupid. Don't read it. Let him do what he needs to do to get through this. And I am. The ONLY time I've said anything was when we had the following conversation:
Him: I know you guys aren't down with our beliefs, but your car and thoughts are still appreciated.
(I was so stunned. WTH? How was ANY of that related?)
Me: Beliefs have nothing to do with friendship. I believe in love and friendship and kindness of the heart. Those are beliefs you can hold on to regardless of how - or if - or to whom you pray.
I don't know why I'm letting this get to me so badly. We all get stuck in our heads. We all make up stupid "deals" (with God, with ourselves, whatever...) "If I can just stop eating bread, I'll lose 30lbs!" or "If I say 300 Hail Marys, my prayers will be answered" or "If I do my hair and makeup EVERY day, he'll love me again like he did when we were younger." They're all silly. But sometimes we take comfort in trying to control that which can't be controlled.
Guess I just needed to puke about it.
Moving on...
We all cope in our own ways. Some people drink or get high. Some people cry. Some people scream and shout. Some people curl up in a ball and sort of hibernate until they can pull their sh*t together. Some people do all of the above and then some. There are a million ways to cope with pain and adversity, and I have no right to judge any one of them wrong, do I?
I remember one of my ways of coping after Huz's affair was to curl up in bed with a nest of blankets and pillows around me and imagine myself in the "womb" of a living tree. How insane is that? I couldn't stand the thought of being touched by a person. All people were liars and out to hurt me. ALL people. But trees... trees were living and nurturing and calm and safe. So I'd stay curled in my nest and envision the slow, sweet sap around me, protecting me, blocking out sight and sound and I'd imagine the outer bark of the tree keeping me safe from anyone and everyone.
So, yeah. There's my bit of crazy for the day...
But yeah... here I sit watching a friend of mine struggle with a situation - not infidelity this time (that I know of??) although 2/4 of "his" kids aren't his. His wife has apparently slipped off the deep end of sanity again. This isn't the first time she's been institutionalized. I'm not sure if she went off her meds or if they stopped working or if sh*t just got too hard or... who knows? She's miserable, though, and he's... well. He's the whackadoodle, IMO.
Yeah. I said it. I'm being a mean B****. And yeah, I'm pretty bitter and angry. Cos rather than focusing on his family (her... their kids, whatever...) he's posting religious tirades everywhere he can blaming her lack of faith on her breakdown. Yeah. It's HER fault because she didn't believe in "their" God (as if they have some exclusive rights on a diety?!) the "right way". SERIOUSLY?
Look. Maybe that's what his inner heart believes. And what do I know for, nuthin - maybe her turning away from faith has caused her to make some immoral choices which then spiraled her into depression. I don't know the particulars. But broadcasting crap like that on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and who knows where else just seems disrespectful to your family and to yourself and to your faith.
What's worse is his doom and gloom, "THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU DON'T WILL YOURSELF TO TURN TO GOD THE WAY I SAY YOU SHOULD." It makes me sick and it makes me angry.
I am all for turning to your faith - in whatever - to get through tough times. You wanna pray? Go for it. You wanna ask others to pray? Do it! You wanna beg, plead, yell, demand of God? Go for it... I won't stop you. You wanna be more pious or more devout to prove your worth to your idea of God? Hey, run with it. But please don't go on this weird "if you don't join it, you're doomed, too!" Cos that's just crap. Bad stuff is happening to YOU, not to ME. And the bad stuff that DID happen to me, well, that's because of poor choices I and the people around me made, not because some higher power was pissed cos I didn't do this or I did say that.
I know, I know. I'm being stupid. Don't read it. Let him do what he needs to do to get through this. And I am. The ONLY time I've said anything was when we had the following conversation:
Him: I know you guys aren't down with our beliefs, but your car and thoughts are still appreciated.
(I was so stunned. WTH? How was ANY of that related?)
Me: Beliefs have nothing to do with friendship. I believe in love and friendship and kindness of the heart. Those are beliefs you can hold on to regardless of how - or if - or to whom you pray.
I don't know why I'm letting this get to me so badly. We all get stuck in our heads. We all make up stupid "deals" (with God, with ourselves, whatever...) "If I can just stop eating bread, I'll lose 30lbs!" or "If I say 300 Hail Marys, my prayers will be answered" or "If I do my hair and makeup EVERY day, he'll love me again like he did when we were younger." They're all silly. But sometimes we take comfort in trying to control that which can't be controlled.
Guess I just needed to puke about it.
Moving on...
Replies
I live in thew heart ofChristian ville...hard for me as u believe exactly as you do. I unfriend anyone who gets judgemental about others beliefs...on FB. Otherwise, religion and politics are off limits in my friendships.
I think people cling to what they know in times of chaos. So he\'s clinging to his religion and feels compelled to surround himself with it like a cocoon. Sounds like he\'s overcompensating, if you know what I mean.
It would be great if life had simple black-and-white answers and believing a certain thing would protect you from life\'s angst. I definitely got more spiritual after Dday but it was more of a personal thing, not a broadcast-to-the-world thing.
Hope his head clears soon before he drives everyone away!
I\'m sure you\'re right.
And I\'m sure I\'m feeling do annoyed because he did the same preachy stuff at me when we first were friends 20 years ago - only then he was Wiccan. And yeah, the \"wholehearted\" then and now seem contrary, conflicting, and exhaustingly overdone. But if it helps him, it helps. Meanwhile, I quietly pulled him out of my G+ circle so I don\'t have to be do bombarded.
His comfort doesn\'t have to be mine.
*do = so