Insert clever title here
My family back East is safe. I have a brother, sister, and brother-in-law and their families back in Virginia. They are safe and well.
Man, did I have a nasty week last week. I thought I was going to lose it for sure on Thursday and Friday because I was so seriously depressed. I felt a little better Saturday when we traveled a couple of hours to watch my daughter play volleyball, and then much better yesterday, and then today....HEY! Why do I feel like I might be able to manage today?
It is CRAZY stuff. I am sure it has a lot to do with perimenopause and hormones because it is uncontrollable and not necessarily related to any trigger point of a situation. My girls went back to college and my son started school and I generally get a little sad in the fall when other people's lives are moving forward and I feel like I am in the same 'ole place, but this was the "CRAZY stuff" that feels so unusual and painful. It was the worst I've had to deal with for a while. I was shaking and trying to figure out whom to call and what to do or what I could take to try to just get through the day. I mean it was BAD, bad, bad.
Then, my friends, what do we do when we know we need to go to the doctor but WE DO NOT WANT TO GO? We moan and groan and complain about it to the universe. I have to try to find out what insurance will cover and who I can go see who knows something about my illness and practices non-traditional medicine (that is covered by insurance - good luck with that) and who won't tell me they need to run a bunch of blood tests (are you listening to what I am saying doctor?) because they will come back normal and I don't want to have to pay for them. And, someone who won't say let's try this or that and I already said, "no,no,no," because I already know they don't work.
I am thinking about going back to the counselor I saw last summer except I need to do the physiological stuff first because I think so much of what is happening is hormone related. Oh, yes, and by the way... I need money. That always causes a bit-o-stress when it comes to life.
I just really don't want to have to go to the doctor, but I can't go through these bouts of depression. I have moderate depression on a regular basis that I have tried to develop coping skills to deal with, but this major stuff that hits is (wait for it......) CRAZY!
carry on
Man, did I have a nasty week last week. I thought I was going to lose it for sure on Thursday and Friday because I was so seriously depressed. I felt a little better Saturday when we traveled a couple of hours to watch my daughter play volleyball, and then much better yesterday, and then today....HEY! Why do I feel like I might be able to manage today?
It is CRAZY stuff. I am sure it has a lot to do with perimenopause and hormones because it is uncontrollable and not necessarily related to any trigger point of a situation. My girls went back to college and my son started school and I generally get a little sad in the fall when other people's lives are moving forward and I feel like I am in the same 'ole place, but this was the "CRAZY stuff" that feels so unusual and painful. It was the worst I've had to deal with for a while. I was shaking and trying to figure out whom to call and what to do or what I could take to try to just get through the day. I mean it was BAD, bad, bad.
Then, my friends, what do we do when we know we need to go to the doctor but WE DO NOT WANT TO GO? We moan and groan and complain about it to the universe. I have to try to find out what insurance will cover and who I can go see who knows something about my illness and practices non-traditional medicine (that is covered by insurance - good luck with that) and who won't tell me they need to run a bunch of blood tests (are you listening to what I am saying doctor?) because they will come back normal and I don't want to have to pay for them. And, someone who won't say let's try this or that and I already said, "no,no,no," because I already know they don't work.
I am thinking about going back to the counselor I saw last summer except I need to do the physiological stuff first because I think so much of what is happening is hormone related. Oh, yes, and by the way... I need money. That always causes a bit-o-stress when it comes to life.
I just really don't want to have to go to the doctor, but I can't go through these bouts of depression. I have moderate depression on a regular basis that I have tried to develop coping skills to deal with, but this major stuff that hits is (wait for it......) CRAZY!
carry on
Replies
1st..LOVE the title! 2nd. When did \"I\" write this? I do not recall writing this but it sure sounds like something I would have written!
3rd. I am sorry you feel like this and IF I had answers, I hope you know I would share that wealth of knowledge with you!
I will send you a message regarding any other thoughts from the \"Far Side\"! In the meantime, HANG IN THERE! And remember it may not get better, it may not get worse but it will change!
It sounds like an echo of my thoughts too.
The little stuff we learn how to handle, it\'s those tsunamis of blues that knock me off my saddle every time.
I wish they would move medical record-keeping out of the 1950\'s. Then we could look at our charts and say...Look, Doc, you just ran this test and it didn\'t show anything. Let\'s not waste money chasing red herrings anymore,
OK?
Why are doctors so afraid of computers? Do they have something to hide?
I know this disease of ours messes up our hormones. A while back there was a name-change committee that proposed changing the name to Neuroendocrineimmune dysfunction syndrome or NEIDS for short. The doctors stonewalled and the idea withered and died.
Hormones regulate everything that goes on in the body. When they don\'t work right, you get....ME/CFS...where nothing works quite the way it should anymore.