Insecurity alert!
Time is ticking closer and closer to Thursday's hearing and I'm getting nervous.... Isn't it ironic that we do something (pet sitting)- with approval of the police department and in most cases for free - and it's fine, not commented on... and yet when I stopped doing it, NOW, I'm being accused of still doing it illegally. Not by the police department - according to them, it's still fine - but my stupid neighbor - yeah, the same one who's been harassing me. You know, the hearing is probably gonna turn into a battle of he said, she said, and MAN, I just don't want to go there....
My crazy neighbor was in my yard again today... I have no idea what he was doing and when I checked afterward, I didn't see anything different. But it was obvious when I saw him leaving, that this man has MAJOR anger issues. And that scares the crap out of me. And I worry - I know, worrying is just a waste of time - but I can't seem to help it. I worry that the restraining order is gonna get denied and all hell will break loose... well, to be honest, all hell could break loose even if it was granted - I'd just have more legal "TEETH" available for dealing with it. And I worry that it's not gonna make a bit of difference (because he's such a jerk, it probably won't)... and then I worry about paying for it (I have to borrow just to pay my attorney to guide me through it... UGH).
My dilemma... if I back out, things will get worse. if I continue, I'm going to be fighting a battle with myself more than with anyone else... because I'm scared, don't want to deal with this, don't want to face it. And I need to. Because facing it is going to take me emotionally above all the crap my life has been filled with over the years... the childhood abuse... the nasty divorce and 7 year custody battle my parents put us through... my 30 year marriage that ended with assault and the 30 years of isolation that came with it that I never even noticed was happening. I'm literally fighting for my life here... not that I'm physically threatened (yet)... but that I've just found my freedom, my comfort zone, my independence, who I am and where I'm heading... and this man is trying to take that from me.... and WORSE, I find myself GIVING it because of the fear and because of the conditioning I've had in my past. What do I mean by that? Well, when this was all coming to a head, I stopped having friends over... stopped entertaining dogs at my house when it was too hot for the dog park... started turning away opportunities to make extra money that I so desperately need... started ISOLATING MYSELF. And THEN came the fear... fear of being in front of a judge... fear of having to be in the same room with that man... GAAA!
Somebody reassure me that I'll survive this, ok?
My crazy neighbor was in my yard again today... I have no idea what he was doing and when I checked afterward, I didn't see anything different. But it was obvious when I saw him leaving, that this man has MAJOR anger issues. And that scares the crap out of me. And I worry - I know, worrying is just a waste of time - but I can't seem to help it. I worry that the restraining order is gonna get denied and all hell will break loose... well, to be honest, all hell could break loose even if it was granted - I'd just have more legal "TEETH" available for dealing with it. And I worry that it's not gonna make a bit of difference (because he's such a jerk, it probably won't)... and then I worry about paying for it (I have to borrow just to pay my attorney to guide me through it... UGH).
My dilemma... if I back out, things will get worse. if I continue, I'm going to be fighting a battle with myself more than with anyone else... because I'm scared, don't want to deal with this, don't want to face it. And I need to. Because facing it is going to take me emotionally above all the crap my life has been filled with over the years... the childhood abuse... the nasty divorce and 7 year custody battle my parents put us through... my 30 year marriage that ended with assault and the 30 years of isolation that came with it that I never even noticed was happening. I'm literally fighting for my life here... not that I'm physically threatened (yet)... but that I've just found my freedom, my comfort zone, my independence, who I am and where I'm heading... and this man is trying to take that from me.... and WORSE, I find myself GIVING it because of the fear and because of the conditioning I've had in my past. What do I mean by that? Well, when this was all coming to a head, I stopped having friends over... stopped entertaining dogs at my house when it was too hot for the dog park... started turning away opportunities to make extra money that I so desperately need... started ISOLATING MYSELF. And THEN came the fear... fear of being in front of a judge... fear of having to be in the same room with that man... GAAA!
Somebody reassure me that I'll survive this, ok?
Replies
You will more than survive this! You will learn when you are right you are RIGHT! To common yourself down and have something to do, what I would do is go on line and try to find the statute that pertains to housing animals as a business and as a land owner,etc. You may find the exact wording that will fit your situation and help you to realize you are right! This will help to empower you. Then every thing you find in your favor print it up with all the documentation you can find to show where the info came from. If you are in front of a judge and you have documentation, I believe(no proof of this, just me)that the judge will ask to see your documents and will 9 times out 10 rule in your favor. First of all you are saving the judge from having to look up the statutes, second why would you bring information that would knowingly hurt you? Of course if you do find info that is against you on this just forget my advice. But I really don\'t think you have a lot to worry about. The police were fine with what and how you are handling things and I would think that would carry a lot of weight with a judge. After all, the police are the law. So buck up, do all the things that keep you calm and happy. Take the dogs for a walk when it is cool. Do the things you would normally do! Don\'t give this guy one iota of thought, he is wrong, you are right. And if by some slim chance you are not....you are the bigger better person, you will use this as a learning experience. Ask the judge where to find any other info pertaining to this matter so you don\'t break the law ever again. The judge will appreciate that, and you will have learned something!!!! But don\'t for one little second let that creep see you sweat! Let him crawl on his belly, or hoot and holler about winning but you will be the person with class! I know you can do this. (((HUGS))) I will be waiting with \"baited, breath\" to hear how well it turns out!
Not \"common\" but \'calm\"
I am a firm believer that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and that all of life\'s trials and tribulations are the Universe\'s way of teaching/guiding us to become all that we are capable of being!
Yes, you have had more than a share of trauma in your life, but this is an OPPORTUNITY to stand up and stand firm! Knowledge is power and the law is on your side (your right to ask for a restraining order). In the big scheme of things, this guy is just a loose cannon and if you don\'t take up for yourself, he is only going to either get worse or start bullying someone else. Where is your faith, woman? Ask the Universe to PROTECT YOU and to GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH AND TENACITY YOU NEED. If you BELIEVE, it will come and such empowerment will launch you further into your healthier New Life! Trust me on this. I had to stand up and be heard, throw my fear away and keep my faith during divorce. Tough to do (and I had no family support and very little from so-called friends through the entire 18 Months of Hell) but I did it. No turning me back now. I am a changed woman! You will be, too! Hugs to you.
You are woman, so let me hear you roar~
Good luck and keep us posted! :)
Thank you so much guys! I WILL and DO have faith! Had a minor setback last night - rear corner neighbor wanted to play with the dogs and started whistling for them... and they barked, of course. 6 pm problem neighbor mowed lawn - 8 pm dogs wanted to go out before a storm hit and problem neighbor THEN decides to move lawn mower, right up against my fence, Sadie barked twice to let me know he was there. I\'m sure THAT\'s gonna be brought up as well. I\'ll keep you posted on the results!
Don\'t worry so much. Dogs aren\'t expected to be absolutely quiet. If someone is baiting them to bark then that is their problem.
Document document documnet! Everything you do with the dogs, you should document. The creep came out at such and such time, your dogs were where doing what, you called them in etc.
Just bullets. And document when you have seen him on your property as well.
Don\'t forget to tell the judge that you feel intimidated by him - ACT fearful as this is the time to play this up...and frankly, its IS REAL so don\'t worry about being calm and collected. Judges are human!
All will be well, you have righteousness on your side! Pulling for you!