Insanity...repeating the same behavior expecting something different.

I have to get on the board here.  Not sure what's stopping me.  I've spent another $1250 this week and $750 last week.  That's $2k I don't have and Christmas is coming.  I'll get it back through various part time jobs I work at, but the question is can I get it back and NOT repeat the behavior again.  If I know for one second I will be having money coming in from a job, I spend it before I even get it. I hate myself.  It does relieve my stress and yesterday was a particularly stressful day.  There MUST be a solution.  I have no one to tell, no one to help me, no one I can trust to hold my hand while I at least try to change.  I don't want to go to GA because its in a church and that freaks me out a little.  lol.  I'm not religious at all, but going to a gambling meeting in a place of worship just feels very bad to me.  I could go see a counselor, but I work during their hours and need the job to make the money to pay back the casino.  blahhh.  Such a vicious cycle.  I can't ban myself because of those stupid coupons that come in the mail that my retired mother eagerly awaits each month so SHE can go be a CG.  It just all sucks.  I'm a good person and a good mom, but with this behavior, doesn't feel like it really.  I guess I have to confess about this screw up to my mother, which I dread.  Casino is giving away some gift cards this month and the amount is based on how much you played the previous week.  Well the gift cards this week should be pretty good sadly.  She's going to want to know why they are more than the minimum $10.  And no, not going is out of the question.  She's retired and her only 'fun' is going to the casino with her daughter (me) and I know she'll fill my gas tank on the way, which I desperately need.  
Okay.  Maybe tonight I'll introduce myself to the board.  Maybe it will help.  Can't hurt right ?