Insane with worry!
I'm worried my surgery:
I'm worried they won't be able to do it laparoscopically and will have to do it abdominally.
I'm worried about the added risks of an abdominal surgery.
I'm worried about the pain I'll be in after.
I'm worried about having a breathing tube and a catheter.
I'm worried that the cancer will have spread to my lymph nodes and that they won't be able to remove what they need to.
I'm worried about radiation if I have to have it...especially internal
I'm worried about having bladder problems from surgery or radiation forever
I'm worried about staying in the hospital
I'm worried about looking horrible in the hospital and not wanting visitors
I'm worried about just crying nonstop for days after surgery
I'm worried about my father:
I'm worried that he's really the only dependable person I have and that I hate that I'm putting him through this after he had to watch my mother fight brain cancer for eight years.
I'm worried that he hasn't been feeling well and refuses to go to the hospital until after things are all set with me.....whatever that means
I'm worried that he's 70 yrs old and shouldn't be driving home from the city ....maybe at night...by himself after my surgery.
I'm worried about him sitting all by himself all day in the hospital waiting room while I have my surgery...I remember how horrible it was when it was the two of us waiting during all three of my mother's brain surgeries.
I'm worried that he thinks my surgery is nothing and I'll be fine in three weeks when my Drs are telling me it could be 6-8 weeks.
I'm worried about money:
I'm worried about hospital bills
I'm worried about paying regular bills while not working for two months
I'm worried about my job:
I'm worried when I go back they won't put me back in my classroom and will keep the people covering for me there. It's not a public school. They can do what they want.
I worry that staff and kids will forget about me or think they found someone better.
I'm worried about my social life:
I'm worried that because I haven't gone anywhere in months everyone will stop asking or forget about me.
I'm worried that people will get sick of my problems/ complaining
I'm worried that people will just disappear like my mother's friends did over her eight year battle.
I'm worried/ sad that I miss everything!
I'm worried about home after the surgery:
Getting around
Showering
Shaving
I'm worried about never being better:
I'm worried I'll be fighting this long term with no relief in sight for the rest of my life
I'm worried what will happen to me ...and my father who I help support....if I can't go back to work for a long time/forever.
I'm worried we will have to sell the only house he's ever had.
I'm worried that at some point I'll just want to give up
I'm worried about everything and it's driving me insane!
I'm worried they won't be able to do it laparoscopically and will have to do it abdominally.
I'm worried about the added risks of an abdominal surgery.
I'm worried about the pain I'll be in after.
I'm worried about having a breathing tube and a catheter.
I'm worried that the cancer will have spread to my lymph nodes and that they won't be able to remove what they need to.
I'm worried about radiation if I have to have it...especially internal
I'm worried about having bladder problems from surgery or radiation forever
I'm worried about staying in the hospital
I'm worried about looking horrible in the hospital and not wanting visitors
I'm worried about just crying nonstop for days after surgery
I'm worried about my father:
I'm worried that he's really the only dependable person I have and that I hate that I'm putting him through this after he had to watch my mother fight brain cancer for eight years.
I'm worried that he hasn't been feeling well and refuses to go to the hospital until after things are all set with me.....whatever that means
I'm worried that he's 70 yrs old and shouldn't be driving home from the city ....maybe at night...by himself after my surgery.
I'm worried about him sitting all by himself all day in the hospital waiting room while I have my surgery...I remember how horrible it was when it was the two of us waiting during all three of my mother's brain surgeries.
I'm worried that he thinks my surgery is nothing and I'll be fine in three weeks when my Drs are telling me it could be 6-8 weeks.
I'm worried about money:
I'm worried about hospital bills
I'm worried about paying regular bills while not working for two months
I'm worried about my job:
I'm worried when I go back they won't put me back in my classroom and will keep the people covering for me there. It's not a public school. They can do what they want.
I worry that staff and kids will forget about me or think they found someone better.
I'm worried about my social life:
I'm worried that because I haven't gone anywhere in months everyone will stop asking or forget about me.
I'm worried that people will get sick of my problems/ complaining
I'm worried that people will just disappear like my mother's friends did over her eight year battle.
I'm worried/ sad that I miss everything!
I'm worried about home after the surgery:
Getting around
Showering
Shaving
I'm worried about never being better:
I'm worried I'll be fighting this long term with no relief in sight for the rest of my life
I'm worried what will happen to me ...and my father who I help support....if I can't go back to work for a long time/forever.
I'm worried we will have to sell the only house he's ever had.
I'm worried that at some point I'll just want to give up
I'm worried about everything and it's driving me insane!
Replies
First I know you are worring about everything---THAT IS NORMAL!!!!!
Now for my experience-- My hysterectomy was open abdominal. Yes, it hurt at first but the pain went away, I was sore for a couple of weeks. I didn\'t have all your issues but the surgeon wasn\'t sure before he went in either.
Your life will be normal in a couple of months except for the treatments. I don\'t know how that will go of course because I didn\'t have any.
As for bladder problems, I don\'t have any so far. My surgeon was very careful and even comforted me when he woke me. The cathater is your FRIEND. I had one for a day and a half. Not to worry about that.
You don\'t look that good after surgery so don\'t worry because you will get better and look like yourself in a couple of days--when you are able to get up and walk a bit. I got up the second day to go to the bathroom and clean up, wash cloth bath.
Don\'t worry about the bills either!!! I had no job or money to pay so I made arrangements to pay so much a month till it was done. It worked. My year of illness finally ended with a $50,000 bill but I paid it off in 6 years. I took jobs that nobody else wanted like temps and seasonal.
After you get home from the hysterectomy, take it easy. Move slowly and have someone with you for a week or so at least. You will have bandages, If it turns out to be open, big bandages but that is good. I kept a pillow on my stomach most of the time. If you have to cough it really helps. Riding in a car---keep the pillow and hope not to hit bumps in the street! Jiggling is quite noticeable for about 2 weeks. Even when I had a small hernia, rough streets were quite noticeable.
Don\'t lift much at first. Even a gallon of milk feels heavy. NORMAL!!!
I didn\'t feel like eating at first. It took me a month to get an appetite but your treatments may alter your experience. I don\'t know on that.
Getting around isn\'t bad when you get home. Not like you might think. Slow and steady moves getting up or out of a chair come easier each day. Walking in your house adds strength too. I did that. Shower when the surgeon says it is alright. The first shower with clorine in the water did sting but after that all was fine. Just let the water run over your stomach, don\'t rub the scar yet. I put soap on the wash cloth and let it run over skin at first. Shaving your legs or whatever, don\'t worry at first. Let it go for a while till you feel more comfortable bending from the waist. It takes time for the internal swelling to go down. Yes, you have to heal inside as well. NORMAL!!!
One of my teachers had to be gone for 6 or 7 weeks when she had a hyst. She came back to her job and we were glad to see her. Make sure you keep in contact with the your supperior during the time you are off. I did that when I had my last surgery and my boss said she could tell how I was progressing by my strength in my voice.
You will be tired, NORMAL, you will need to rest, NORMAL.
I prayed alot. It helped. My support system was good too. Friends didn\'t stop by but as soon as I could, I went to church--still bandaged too.
There is one thing that does hit, it did me. The sense of loss of my uterus. I did cry and feel down. But that is when you have to focus on the good things and people in your life. The loss of hormones is something I am still having to work on. You may have to talk to your surgeon about this subject. I don\'t know how this would work after chemo or radiation.
Hoping all goes well for you and in a year, it is just a memory. Maybe you will be able to help someone who has problems in the future like I try to now.
Don\'t hesitate to ask anything you need to know about the surgery or after if I didn\'t address the issues here. I\'m here--been there, done that.
My life is better and I am so much more active now. Sometimes it is for the best after all.
Take care and take a deep breath and know all will be well in time.
Mary