Insanity

I feel like I'm going crazy. My anxiety is so bad that I'm starting to hallucinate. I'm doing my best to cope, but it gets so hard. Sometimes I just want to run away. It's so odd part of me hates any type of change and the other constantly craves it. It's like the two parts of me are warring with each other.

I'm starting to have blackouts again too. I keep losing parts of my day. The paranoia is back to, though not as bad as it used to be. I feel like I was to get away, but I'm not even sure what I'm trying to get away from. I'm  pretty sure I need to be in the hospital right now, but my youngest son just started high school and I don't think he can handle being by himself with his father.

I also, have to make sure they don't try to put me on antidepressants again.  They just make me worse.

Done for now.