Insane

It has been a great while since my last entry. I have been reluctant to write anything.It is not that I can handle this alone or want to withdraw, it is just that I seem to be on the verge of "insanity". I am doing the same things over and over again and expectingdifferent results. Since discovering the bars with the different machines, I have making excuses to myself and putting money in. I know that I have to stop, but I keep on tellingmyself that is is a lot less money that I used to spend and that this keeps me from visitingthe casinos. The same feelings of feeling hopeless and lost have returned.I feel like such a low life. I have to bounce back one way or another, I am making lifemiserable for my family. Out of all the addictions, this is by far the worst one.The nearest GA meeting is on Saturday mornings, I have no more excuses, I am going!