Information OVERLOAD!!!!!!!
Ok so I have alot of time this weekend with Austin being with the man child husband of mine. So good time for reflection writing out goals just making plans in general for the next steps and so on. By this time friends and family know when i'm alone so they come over with books, audio tapes, dvd's and tell me " You have got to listen to this" or " I heard about this Dr and thought it would help you" OH MY GOD REALLY!!! I'm going to have to pay for another storage unit to hold all this crap in. Even if I loved reading I will be 100 yrs old before I get through all the books everyone has given me. Some of them I don't think I need. When 2 incomes become 1, women who love to much which I thought was good, men who hate women who love to much, cooking for one, when one side of the bed is empty, blah blah blah..... God why not " Hey T sorry he left you your a big loser now" that's how all this information makes me feel. Then if the books, cd's and dvd's are not enough there's have you seen this movie? How about medication think that will help you?
I really fear answering the phone these days so I don't have to hear that sound in everyone's voice " Hi honey, how ya doin? Things going any better? Do you need anything? Yah I need everyone to stop treating me like i'm a piece of glass. Like I always have something that needs to be fixed that moment. Oh and the one I hate the absolute most is " Honey you know your better off without him and he will never change" Yes, slowly i'm realizing things on my own but I don't need it thrown in my face everyday. Sometimes I don't think about him and I actually have had a good day until........ Hi honey you ok today?
So when does helpful information become too much information or INFORMATION OVERLOAD? When we take in the advice of everyone around us and as we all know everyone has a different opinion, a different way af viewing things. So you may get 10 different responses to the same question. How do you begin to swim your way through the ocean of advice? Well I have come to this I will listen but what I choose to do will be my own. I have to learn to trust my guts more. I mean i'm the only one who knows what's best for me and my family. Other people family and friends may think they know what's best for me but really it's what they would do. SO FOLLOW OUR HEARTS AND TRUST THAT WE KNOW BEST........
I really fear answering the phone these days so I don't have to hear that sound in everyone's voice " Hi honey, how ya doin? Things going any better? Do you need anything? Yah I need everyone to stop treating me like i'm a piece of glass. Like I always have something that needs to be fixed that moment. Oh and the one I hate the absolute most is " Honey you know your better off without him and he will never change" Yes, slowly i'm realizing things on my own but I don't need it thrown in my face everyday. Sometimes I don't think about him and I actually have had a good day until........ Hi honey you ok today?
So when does helpful information become too much information or INFORMATION OVERLOAD? When we take in the advice of everyone around us and as we all know everyone has a different opinion, a different way af viewing things. So you may get 10 different responses to the same question. How do you begin to swim your way through the ocean of advice? Well I have come to this I will listen but what I choose to do will be my own. I have to learn to trust my guts more. I mean i'm the only one who knows what's best for me and my family. Other people family and friends may think they know what's best for me but really it's what they would do. SO FOLLOW OUR HEARTS AND TRUST THAT WE KNOW BEST........
Replies
I know you may find it annoying that people are giving you so much stuff to try to help you and you may not always want it, but in their own way they are trying to help and show you they care. I think you should be grateful for that.
I am having the opposite experience, I am getting very little different treatment from my family and friends. It is almost as if nothing has happened or changed in my life a lot of the time. Maybe it is my own fault, I don\'t know, because I try to carry on as if life is going well and don\'t necessarily let on if I am having a tough time - so I suppose they assume that I don\'t need or want any help or concern from them. Sometimes that can be hard to deal with too. Maybe I spent too many years putting on a really brave front and hiding from everyone how awful my life with my stbx really was that I have established the impression that I am coping well and don\'t need my families help or concern - it just would be nice if they would show it sometimes though, even if I don\'t need it.
all I want to say is that I think you\'re fortunate to have so many friends/family members around you who care. There are some out there who have no one. No one comes by to say anything. No one comes by to offer any gifts. :( So consider yourself lucky in that regards. :)
But I agree with the advice giving. You have to go by what you think is right as it\'s you who suffer the consequences of your actions, not the advice giver.
Take care!
I do thank God for my blessings everyday and I know that my family and friends only have my best interest at heart it\'s just alot to absorb mixing all the different feelings and emotions that mine get lost. I\'m here if you need a friend to talk too.
I hear where you are coming from on the information overload and hope I haven\'t been part of that. But DO be THANKFUL for the outpouring of support. Lots of us got ABSOLUTELY NONE. Hang in there, toots.
You are so lucky to have people who care and try in their own way to help. I went thru the whole divorce all by myself. Not totally alone, I did have one person who would listen and didn\'t mind hearing about the ex. No family and my daughter quit talking to me. All I had was this farm to keep me busy and my horses to listen to me.
You are right to listen and use what your gut tells you is right for you. But you also have to have some input of information to be able to make those gut decisions.
you will find your way and what are the right choices for you.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond to me. We might break 100 degrees today. To hot for Cowgirl Kathi I think.......
Separation after a long partnership , I feel, is a akin to a bereavement. With the grieving process that follows. Unfortunately no easy answer, no short cut, just a day at a time and gradually, almost with out noticing, things do get better.
I think you are fortunate to have many friends to give you advice and support. I don\'t know where I would be without mine.
That being said,it is hard to know which advice to accept.You know what is right for you.
:) Maggie